Beautiful Fate
by eloquentlyinsane
Summary: What if Bella hadn't jumped? If Rose never made the fatal call? Edward returns to check on Bella, but what he finds sends him comatose. When he wakes, the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU. JxB and ExB, who will triumph? REVISED.
1. Prologue :: Wrong

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, who will win?

**This story is based on the premise that after leaving Edward managed to stay away and Bella did not jump off the cliff. Listen to _Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin_ while reading this like I did =) Enjoy.  
**

**xoxo,**

**-ei**

* * *

**Prologue: Il Sangue**

_EPOV_**_:_  
**

One year.

Fifty-two weeks.

Three hundred sixty five days...and counting.

The urge was insurmountable.

I wanted, no, _needed_ her so desperately that I was blindly hallucinating, deliriously fantasizing – she dominated my waking dreams, commandeered sentient thought.

What was this pain? Why did the very thought of her send me into scrambling into the fetal position? I'd left because I loved her. Because she deserved what I could never give her. So then why couldn't I be happy for her?

Option one: Bella was a danger magnet. Very likely, it wouldn't matter that I had left the radar; she probably had found herself a new monster to occupy herself with.

Option two: She probably had moved on. No doubt Mike Newton had swooped in and taken advantage of my absence. Despite assurances that I was fine with that...I certainly wasn't. If I didn't deserve, he wasn't even in the same sphere. And yet, he could give her so much that I couldn't. it wasn't fair for me to be envious. I _did_ want her to move on, but, selfishly, not _completely_. She had marked me so irrevocably; I was doomed to suffer for the rest of my existence without her. To think that she had moved on, forgotten me so quickly – it made our love seem _petty_.

I, of course, had no idea what exactly was going on with her either way. Alice was always keeping watch. But on Esme's orders, they carefully screened what they saw and told me nothing that I could draw conclusions from. Living with me for scores of years had trained them. Whenever they returned from Forks, they were always transcribing the Quaran in Semaphore or finding derivatives in Armenian.

But this pain, this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Before her, I only had a vague idea of what my siblings had with each other that I didn't. But to have and then have it taken away...

I comforted myself: it was only a matter of time.

But I had to know! Even if, what I saw displeased me...I needed to see her. Know that she was safe.

Before I knew it, I was in my Volvo and less than fifty miles separated me from the cloudy town that homed my only reason to live.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

Twenty-five miles.

Ten.

Five.

I eased into the neighborhood of Forks, noting with a grim expression, the house that loomed tantalizingly a few hundred meters away. As my Volvo sighed into parallel formation with the police car, I noticed that a certain big red truck was not parked in the driveway.

It was barely three in the afternoon; her father would not be home quite yet. Even he was, he wouldn't hear me if I sneaked into the house on silent feet.

The last piece of my sanity that I clung to, kicking and screaming, screamed refusal — I had already gone against my better judgment when I decided to revisit Forks. Not because I was afraid of what I would find. It was how I would react to the spectacle. I was so weak when it came to her. She was both my strength and weakness. Who knew what I was capable of now that the blackest of black sins had proven possible?

Carlisle had once joked that despite my gift to read others so well, my own mind was a black hole – a singularity.

No longer in my own control – when, since her, had I ever been completely in my own control? - I took a deep breath. I could smell it, very faintly: the smell of freesia and strawberries, muted like music playing at a cloudy radio station.

I scaled the side of the house and climbed into her room through the window, unlocked and ajar.

My anxiety had been for nothing, it appeared: the room was deserted.

I slumped.

My fear, I realized now, had not been what I would find, but what I wouldn't.

In my absence, things would change, small things but significant enough that I would return to find no traces of myself left – like a forgotten relative who had died and was hidden in a shadow of a black-and-white family portrait.

I wanted her to move on, of course. I was not one to stake a claim, when she so apparently deserved someone less hellish than I. But to forget me completely?

All that was left in her room was the small bed in the corner, the rickety dresser, and the rocking chair that I had used to inhabit, so very long ago. I sat down and was enveloped in her fragrance.

It was heaven.

And hell.

I couldn't sit still, feeling as though I was the proverbial frog in the pot, being boiled to a slow death. Her wardrobe stood empty except for a shirt too small and a pair of jeans simply too dirty to be washed.

I riffled through the room, aching for just one glimpse, one memento, one of her. A photo, a note. Anything that could assure me of her well-being. Anything to ease the pain of being separated from her.

It appeared as though she had been packing for a journey. Packing tape was strewn all over the room, along with an occasional empty cardboard box. I resignedly drew back towards the window as I saw a note on the seat of the rocking chair. I peeled it off the seat and sat down in the rocking chair, trembling.

_Goodbye_, the wind whispered haughtily.

"Just once," I whispered my plea.

I turned the paper over, almost fearfully. It was me. Or, at least, a photo of me, staring aimlessly at the camera. The day before I left.

She knew instinctively something was wrong – my behavior had been ever since the night of her birthday. But even then, knowing that what I was going to do was so very wrong – it struck me as odd that she never saw it coming.

"_You don't want me?"_

The disbelief. The hurt.

She had bought my facade, eventually. Bought it so utterly. How could she think my love so weak?

On sudden thought, I hastened down the stairs in the hallway and lifted the floorboard on the second stair.

I gasped sharply.

I'd hidden all her mementos of me. CDs of Debussy and all the music of mine she had listened to lay smashed. Plastic cases in pieces, CDs lying in sparkling ruins, covers in shreds. How had she found them? But more importantly, did this mean?

I ran back into her room, truly perturbed now.

There was a shirt, lying next to her trash can that I hadn't seen but now recognized. I picked up the shirt; it was blue. The shreds of fabric flowed over my hands, wholesome, clean, except for the cuts, which were suspicious. Instead of ragged, they were linear and straight, inflicted mercilessly by a knife or scissors.

"_That color blue looks lovely with your skin."_

In her trash can, I saw what looked like the remains of a stereo. Wires poking out of their cover, the screen smashed in, buttons pulling off the front. Even what looked like dried blood on the stereo. Obviously, she'd tried to remove it herself despite not being handy with things like screwdrivers and hammers.

"_It will be as though I never existed."_

I looked up and around the room - deserted - then back to the devastation. I sank to the floor, begging the tears to follow.

What followed was the pain.

Unbearable.

Unbelievable.

Greater than ever before.

Too cold, too hot, too bright — the snow, the sun, the blood.

Too much — everything.

Every sense screamed with the intensity of living. Being.

Sound, touch, smell, sight — it all scorched my soul.

For so long, I thought my soul lost.

I'd been wrong.

_This_ was what losing my soul felt like.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

I didn't know how long I stayed in the house, rocking back and forth on the rocking chair until it splintered. My family came, calling my name and Bella's, gasping as they found me.

Carlisle firmly picking me me with him as I lay there limply. Esme as she stroked my hair, trying to comfort me. Emmett helplessly holding me back as I fought to reclaim Bella's scent. Jasper finally subduing me so we could leave undetected. Alice crying. Rosalie commiserating.

I swallowed thickly, venom rising like bile in y throat. "...this is what I wanted."

They didn't need to be telepathic to know I was lying desperately through my teeth. To see the repressed pain behind my choked words.

The waves of pain that had lapped at my face before reared head-high and drew me into their folds.

Needless to say, I did not resurface.

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**Review.**


	2. Chapter 1 :: Time Moves On

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, which will win?

**This story is based on the premise that after leaving Edward managed to stay away and Bella did not jump off the cliff. Listen to **_**Since U Been Gone**_** by _Kelly Clarkson _while reading this like I did. Enjoy.  
**

**xoxo,**

**-ei**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Time Moves On**

EPOV:

"Are you ready Edward?" Alice called softly.

I nodded stiffly. "Where are we going?" I croaked, wincing at the sound of my discordant voice.

"Carlisle wants it to be a surprise. He and Esme thought we'd like it. They haven't told any of us." She smiled kindly at me. I nodded again. "Come on." She took my arm and led me out of the room. She let go of my arm when we down in the garage and started to skip around, animated by dainty excitement. "Aren't you excited?"

"Yay," said Rose and Jasper in a monotone. Alice smacked Jasper lightly on his arm.

"Hey! What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing is…_wrong _with it, Alice." He tried to soothe her, throwing me a wary glance.

Emmett sniggered, "You're whipped, Jasper."

"Excuse me?" Jasper demanded through clenched teeth.

"I said, 'you're whipped.' I mean, come on." Em rolled his eyes. "Do you _have_ to agree everything your wife says?" Emmett scoffed.

Rosalie turned toward him, her smooth blond hair standing on end. "I beg your pardon but what exactly do mean by that, Emmett?" Her voice had reached a snarl by the end of her question.

"Who's 'whipped' now dear brother?" I smiled lightly, welcoming the comic relief that was my family.

"You're hilarious, Edward. Just you wait until you find someone again and then we'll see," Emmett said with a smirk.

I paled.

Silence descended upon us; Jasper pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers as he tried to keep from smacking Emmett. Rose did it for him.

"Ow! Rose!"

"Emmett!" Alice shouted in her angry treble. "How can you be such an idiot?"

"Sorry, it's a reflex." He muttered, and sent me a mental apology.

Esme anxiously trained her eyes on me, her thoughts worried. "Edward?"

"Alright, everyone. We'd best be off." Carlisle said calmly, breaking the impending brawl, by separating Jasper and Emmett kindly but firmly, although sparing Emmett a deeply disappointed expression.

Esme turned to me and stroked my face and hair. "Edward, are you alright?"

My breath caught and came out very uneven. She wrapped her arms around my shoulder and kissed my forehead affectionately.

"I don't know – I've been living this life for scores of years. You all have someone, Esme. Someone to call his or her own; someone to love, to hold, to touch, _to need_." My tone became dour and I spat the last words out bitterly. "I did too, for a while. And I didn't a choice but to leave."

"You could have stayed," She reminded me.

"And let her die at my hands? There wasn't a feasible alternative. I am the greater lover," I told her emphatically. "I could walk away even if it hurt me all the more. But as long as she was safe."

She sighed. "I know, but..." And then so softly, I wondered if I had imagined it. "Was it worth this?" Either way, I ignored it.

"But what Emmett said today made me finally realize that I would be alone for the rest of my existence."

"No," She whispered, her eyes tortured. "Edward, look at me. You will find someone. It isn't like picking an apple from a tree or getting an points on a test. It is something that comes naturally and eventually for everyone."

"…True love only happens once. And it's over for me. That's it for me, Esme. That was my chance. And I blew it. I can only hope that she doesn't despise for lying so terribly. And now, I just feel so out of place here. Everyone has something special with each other. You all have your significant other – the yin to your yang; you're whole. Someone to hold in his or her arms. Someone to love you. I thought it would be the same of me, but now I now: I have no one. I am destined to roam the world alone for all of eternity. Look at me. Broken in half."

"Edward, that's not true," She said severely. "There will be someone to accept you; you just have to keep an open heart."

"She was and is everything to me, mother. Without her, I wouldn't be where I am today. My life would have been pointless – I would have continued to exist without meaning, thinking that this was all there is to life. I know what my purpose is – it was to love her! I'll do this for her; even at this cost to myself."

"Edward – your heart, your soul, you're losing yourself in your misery."

"I lost my heart to her. My soul was already lost," I said simply.

"That's where you're wrong, Edward. I don't know when you'll find your soul mate, Edward, but remember, people are meant to go through life two-by-two."

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

Emmett and Rose were in their cars separately. Carlisle drove my Volvo because Esme had commandeered his Mercedes. I hadn't driven my Volvo or my Vanquish in over a decade. I refused to let anyone else in it in fear that eventually her still-lingering scent would fade. I didn't want to let go.

I went with Jasper and Alice. As soon as I got in, I keeled over and lay across the backseat, curling into myself. My mind blanked out and my family's though blended in a soporific blather.

After half a day of drag racing on highways, I raised my head to blearily ask Alice where we were going.

"We're almost there, Edward. Half an hour now. Why don't you rest a bit more?"

For some reason everyone seemed to be thinking about the derivatives of many-layered polynomials in increasingly foreign and exotic languages. Well, except Emmett. He was thinking about Rose.

In no time at all we were dwindling to residential speed. And then we stopped. I jerked forward, my face pressing against the back of the seat in front of me as the car rolled to a stop.

"We're here," Emmett announced.

"Congratulations, Captain Obvious," grumbled Jasper.

I stepped out of the car out and moved toward the house in the distance, feeling eyes on me.

"Variety of wildlife, typically rainy, rarely sunny, wolves may pose a threat," I caught a few words of what Carlisle was telling the others as they proceeded inside, Emmett and Jasper bringing in the luggage.

_Edward your room is second left._

I opened the door and slumped on to the back leather couch that was already there, and looked out across the backyard in to the forest beyond.

There was a split moment when Alice sighed.

I flew down the stairs in a fury to face the guilty eyes of my family, staring anywhere but at me.

"HOW _DARE_ YOU?" I bellowed. "WAS THIS THE _ONLY_ PLACE YOU COULD FIND? AND WHILE _KNOWING _WHAT HAPPENED HERE?"

"Edward, please," Esme face turned an ugly pasty color as her smile slid off her face. "Alice had a vision."

"I _don't _care!" I hissed.

"You were...happy," She pleaded.

"HOW FUCKING _DARE_ YOU?" I shouted at Alice. Her façade was heart breaking but it held no effect on me. Jasper sent me a reproachful stare and attempted to calm everyone down while sparks flew from my eyes.

Rosalie moved so fast that for once I was not fast enough - not noticing the movement until I felt her hand whip across my cheek, with a sharp sting.

"_SHUT UP_!" She snarled, her bosom heaving with anger. "We all know what happened here, alright? We did this for you!" Everyone was staring at her. "And remember this, Edward," Her voice grew dangerously quiet with a silky, menacing edge. "_You_ left Bella! _You_ told her that you didn't love her. And she took _your_ word for it and tried to move on."

"Rose," Carlisle tried to shush her but she shook free.

"Get your hands off me, Carlisle!" Her eyes glowed demonically. He let go and backed respectfully away. I marveled how, amidst all this, she still managed to look as beatific as she did.

She trained her tawny eyes back on me; they were narrowed in disdain. "Do you think, for an instant, that because Alice hasn't told you anything about Bella all these years was because she hasn't had any visions? Oh no!" She let out a mirthless laugh. "Alice, being the good little girl she is—."

Emmett snorted.

"—Didn't want to make things harder for you! She hid the visions from you. And the rest of us tried our hardest not to bring Bella up." I flinched at the sound of her name. "So shut up and face your life like a man, Edward! For once! All you've done for about a quarter of a century is curl up into the fetal position and whine like a fucking pansy." She glared at me. "You're not a man – I bet Jacob Black has more guts than you do. So we're staying here for a year if we need to. You need to come to terms with this place and grow a pair!"

I held her gaze but I knew she was right. I backed away from her, the misery simpering back into my mind like a heavy fog. "Rose," Groaned Jasper, rubbing his forehead in frustration as the fog enveloped him too.

With Rose, looking before leaping was common practice. And so was the regret and guilt she felt afterwards. "Edward, I'm sorry," She pleaded. I didn't answer. _I've never seen any vampire look so fragile._

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**Review.**


	3. Chapter 2 :: Unwell

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, who will win?

**This story is based on the premise that after leaving Edward managed to stay away and Bella did not jump off the cliff. Listen to _Unwell _by M_atchbox 20_ while reading this. Enjoy.  
**

**xoxo,**

**-ei**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Happy**

_EPOV:_

The urge again was eating away at me like some psychological parasite.

I liked to think that I had enough self-control to hold myself. I didn't like to admit I was wrong.

I didn't bother with the car.

Even after twenty years, my feet flew me across the uneven ground, the wind molded my hair, and I could all but feel her on my back – like nothing had changed.

I scaled the tree and shot into her window. It was five in the afternoon and the house deserted.

It had changed – it was now refurbished, but differently, with a taste in decor that was distinctly un-Bella. The scent stronger, but diluted, like smelling her distantly from the bottom of the ocean, with the heavy scent of salts in the air.

I breathed it in, shallow breaths. Pleasurable, yet mind-numbing. I moved out of her room, quickly enough - I was masochistic but not suicidal, yet anyway.

I explored with wary eyes though there wasn't much to witness except in the living room. Charlie was living by himself again, the untidiness told that much. And he was growing old as well; gray hairs made a protective cover for the couch.

But it was too neat for a bachelor. I went into the kitchen and smelled woman's cooking. The food was too well prepared to have been his friends. And I didn't think Charlie, with his policeman's pension, could afford a maid.

No, it was, no doubt, a woman. Perhaps an old friend, or...a daughter. I swallowed, trying to dispel that last idea.

I saw a collection of photos on the mantle that weren't covered in dust. New, at least, relatively.

Before I could get a closer look, the front door burst open. My first instinct was too run, but I was rooted to the spot. Adrenaline flooded my mind, and my senses were intoxicated; I could perceive one thing in absolute clarity: Bella!

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

A massive shape from the shadows flitted across the room and bowled into me. Thick arms grabbed me and we fell gracefully back into the shadows of the stairs just as Bella's eyes turned up from the doorknob into the house.

"Oh, no you don't, kid," Emmett groused quietly, as he held me in a headlock.

We could hear heavy breathing from the foyer, where Bella had stopped, frozen.

No, not Bella. Charlie.

He did however reek of the woman I loved.

"By god," I heard him whisper. "I'm seeing things!" He moved toward the kitchen cautiously and Emmett drew me further back into the shadows. "I'm seeing -." He was picking up plates in the kitchen, glass squeaking against glass. "I thought I saw..."

"Let's go!" Growled Emmett in my ear.

"...Edward...here? Ha."

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

When I arrived at home, everyone's heads raised as I walked through the door. Alice had probable foretold, and told them everything. And as if that wasn't probable, my posture and stance said everything else.

"Edward- ." Esme began but Carlisle placed a hand on her arm. I was thankful, for once, that my surrogate father was so perceptive. I turned to my family and opened my mouth. They waited with bated breath for my words.

"I thought...it was B-..." I shuddered. I couldn't bring myself to say her name.

Esme rushed at me, enveloping me in her arms ad the sweet homely smell of honeysuckle. She kissed my forehead, sweeping my lank hair out of my hair.

"Esme," Carlise said pointedly.

"Carlisle, look at him."

"He's a man, Esme – he needs to either move on or not. But he needs to decide whether Bella-."

You could have heard a feather hitting the floor, the silence was deafening the moment her name left his lips.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Alice ushering Jasper out of the house, shaking her head disapprovingly at Carlisle who looked stricken.

"Edward, I..." He moved toward me but I shook my head, words rising and sticking painfully in my throat.

Esme gave a sob and fled after Alice and Jasper.

I floated up to my bedroom, my thoughts barely kept at bay. I stepped into my bedroom. Immediately, three things caught my anguished eyes: a photo, a letter, and a prom ticket.

I couldn't stop the raging torrents of incoherent speech that issued from my mouth. I also couldn't control my hands and feet, which carried me around the room, and tossed things of shelves and on to the floor.

Several things shattered. I overturned my couch and grabbed the three mementos and deposited them out side my room. I took out a lighter and clicked it; a small flame appeared and I slowly bent to the couch and touched the blaze to the leather. It caught very easily and the flames dripped to the other, more flammable items. In minutes, the room was on fire. I stepped inside and locked the door.

"Dammit, Edward. What the hell are you trying to do?" Rosalie shouted in my ear. She grabbed my arm like a vice and dragged me outside. "You could have killed yourself, you know!" When I didn't answer she continued shouting. "Do you have any idea what that would do to our family. Can't you think about anyone except yourself?"

"Rose." Alice appeared at the foot of the stairs. She very subtly, shook her head.

"Alice! Do you even-."

"Rose, just leave him be."

"Don't you understand? He's so devastated, if it's even possible, he's becoming emo!"

Silence.

Then Emmett burst out in guffaws. "It's not funny, Emmett!" Rosalie shouted at her partner.

Alice turned her gaze from Rose to me. Something in her resolve hardened but before I could find out what it was was, she was reciting the Kamasutra in Italian while calling Jasper. He materialized by her side.

"We need to fix him, Jasper."

He stared open-mouthed at her. "I thought we agreed that it was too harsh."

"Well, electroshock is the only other option and seeing as it doesn't apply to our species, I really don't think we have an option."

He glanced from her to, taking in my pathetic state.

Esme was glancing stupefied from one to the other. "Jasper, you can't possibly even be considering..."

He shrugged.

She flew across the room, sheltering my body from him. "You promised me that you would never use it on us!"

"Esme," Carlisle sighed. For once, I noticed, he looked ancient. So did the rest of my family, I realized; wrinkles setting momentarily as they contemplated the fright before their ocher eyes.

"Carlisle!" She took a sharp breath. "Surely, you see that-."

"Edward!" Alice said briskly. "Play the piano," She told me firmly.

"The p-."

"Yes, the piano..." I glanced at the stairs. "Don't consider running, Emmett and Jasper will bring you back," She threatened me cheerfully.

"Let's be civil about this," Rosalie took my arm and we marched down the stairs, this peculiar medley, into the parlor.

"Why don't you play something nice for us," Carlisle suggested. "Like Beethoven's Fifth or Moonlight Sonata or Toccata and Fugue in D minor, something simple..."

"I think only organs can play that, Carlisle," Jasper told him.

Pain, banter, music.

I placed my pale fingers on the smooth, ivory keys. I pressed down the first cords very quietly then shifted into composition: leaning into the keys, hands fluttering at impossible speeds.

Moonlight Sonata, I promised myself. But all too easily, I could feel myself shifting chords and striking keys that didn't belong in the song. I tried to retract my traitor hands but they were so familiar with this song they didn't oblige. I could feel my eyes tearing up, the venom biting mercilessly. Then as the song softly came to a close, I felt a single tear fall from my face and onto the white key, or maybe it was venom. I jolted away from the piano and slid on to the floor, cowering.

Esme rushed across the room and gathered me in her arms. "Jasper! Do something!"

She attempted to touch my shoulder but I snarled viciously, "Don't touch me!"

"Edward," She crooned. "It's alright." Esme lifted her hand and placed it against my cheek.

"Alice, don't do this to me. Please," I whimpered, choking a little.

Alice sighed. "Edward, let her go."

"I can't."

"Try. She's happy now. Don't ruin it for her."

"I can't."

"The only alternative is going back to her." She said stonily.

"No. I left was because I wasn't safe for her. There is no excuse for me to take that back now; she's fine."

"Edward," Alice whispered. "You can't ignore her forever."

"Can't I?"

"You can't."

"No!" She winced. "No," I amended, softly. "How many times must I repeat myself, Alice? She's safe. She's fine."

_But you're not._ Jasper moved forward and tried to touch my shoulder.

"See Alice!" Rosalie said. "See what he's become? He's going to go insane if we don't do something. And you know what that means."

"No," Esme pleaded. "He's feelings bad enough as is."

"He needs to get a grip on himself," Rose pressed.

"Jasper?" Rose and Alice turned to him.

"...it's not a good idea, but -."

"- necessary," Carlisle finished. "We need to. He's not even close to sad, he's heart-broken, beyond repair. I doubt he even knows what it means."

_Happy? _Alice' mind whirled with activity and she made no attempt to hide it from me. I could see my earlier form; _hunched over like a beast, paler than my family members, dark circles under my eyes deadened my pallor. _

_My head in hands, trying hard as possible to hold on those last shreds of sanity. Lying eagle-spread on the ground, after a hunt. Letting the memories, and accompanying pain, wash over me. Occasionally wincing._

My eyes seemed to roll back in my head as Alice unleashed all the memories of the past quarter century upon. I knew she felt awful doing this, but she seemed to believe that this was the only way to wake me up again.

She meant to wake me up by causing me _more_ pain?

_He doesn't speak to anyone. He doesn't look at anyone, every time he does, he's reminded of some event that happened with her._

_He tries not to think of her. And he rarely succeeds, but some nights, when he's all alone with his thoughts, his mind wanders. But frankly, he can't bear it. Being away from her._

_He needs her._

_And he, sure as hell, couldn't stop thinking of her as much as he pretended to. She fills his mind. Her face, her voice, her scent. And yet he believed that he could never go back to her, no matter how much he wanted it. He couldn't do it. He would just have to bear it._

_He would have to get on with his life. Or so he pretended._

_Just because we couldn't read his mind, did he think we didn't know? That we couldn't imagine our devastation if our significant were taken from us?_

_And he succeeded, finding solace and living with the thought that she was safe and sound. But beside him, the depression affected the household._

_The boisterous older brother no longer joked and laughed. Emmett: quiet and sullen, no longer joking but dejected._

_The quirky petite sister kept her mind shut. Alice; face going blank and then squeezing her eyes shut tightly in an effort to keep the visions from reaching me._

_The smart-ass bitchy sister kept her mouth shut. Rosalie, unnaturally quiet and inexplicably considerate of my feelings._

_The empathic brother couldn't be in the same room without dying himself. Jasper, squeezing himself futilely, eyes going berserk, and then giving up and running out of the house, Alice soon following._

_Everyone move about with deathly quiet. The entire household had died._

_Edward_, Alice pleaded, _if you can't at least get over her yourself, do it for the rest of us. We care about you. And think of Esme and Carlisle. And how much happiness you owe them._

_Do it for us, _Rose.

_And then maybe, just maybe, you'll be happy, too,_ Emmett.

I was frozen in place. A well of emotion burst inside of me, burning through me so intensely, I would fly apart at the seams at any moment. And yet, I wasn't sure if it was sadness or happiness I was feeling.

I tried to speak but my motor functions stopped working and I couldn't stop burning from the inside out. My face flushed and my breathing quickened to a pace it hadn't reached in a long time. I saw Jasper looking at me, there was guilt in his eyes. He wasn't breathing either.

There was regret when he said my name. "Edward..."

"What are—Jasper, don't do it!" I pleaded. "I don't want to -."

Alice pressed her lips together resolutely. "Edward, we can't. It hurts too much. I don't want it to hurt anymore. I don't want you to hurt or Jasper," She said sadly. Jasper looked at me without saying a word. "Please, just take it away. Take it all away," she spoke quietly and shut her eyes. "Jasper, just take it all away."

It intensified for a moment, the pain, the blithe. The light behind my eyelids grew until it was painfully bright, like I was ascending to heaven. Then, everything thing went black – blank.

And then I felt it.

Or rather, I didn't.

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	4. Chapter 3 :: Answer

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, who will win?

**This story is based on the premise that after leaving Edward managed to stay away and Bella did not jump off the cliff. Listen to_The Reason _by _Hoobastank_ while reading this. Enjoy.  
**

**xoxo,**

**-ei**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Answer**

_EPOV:_

When Alice and I arrived, my family was line up against the northern side boundryline and the wolves were pressed up the south side.

"It's like the battle of Gettysburg – waiting to happen," I muttered, smiling grimly. Alice grinned. "There's a massacre waiting to happen, though we're definitely uphill."

"Actually, Edward," Jasper said, holding up his index finger, "The battle of Gettysburg – beginning on July 1, 1863 – was the supposedly the turning point of the Civil whereas this is rather more like the ceremony at Appomattox Court House. Gettysburg was-."

"Jasper, I hate to say this," Carlisle actually looked apologetic, but I smirked as I read his mind. "But, please, shut up."

"Excellent," Emmett leered as more wolves arrived. "More for everyone – besides, I'm starved."

They bared their teeth and raised their hackles at him.

"Well, now since everyone's here," Carlisle called loudly to all of us. "Perhaps, we ought to start."

A black wolf as well a red-brown wolf in the midst of the pack transformed. The black wolf turned into Sam Uley who quickly donned a pair of jeans. The other turned in another brown Native American boy who Sam introduced as Paul.

He sneered at Alice, Esme, and Rose as he walked toward the line. "I could pose for you, ladies, and you can tell me if your husband is half of mine or a quarter," he jeered.

Emmett started angrily toward Jacob as Jasper covered his wife's eyes. Carlisle quickly pulled Emmett away from the boundary as the rest wolves tensed up.

"Really, Jasper," Alice scoffed, removing his hand, "you'd think I'd never seen any other man's phallus, the way you're acting."

"But you haven't…" he stuttered, distratced from the wolves.

"That you _know _of," She replied sweetly. He looked stupefied. "I commend you, Emmett," She said sweetly to her brother. Emmett looked astounded but grinned anyway. "Gee, thanks Alice – you're not half-bad yourself." Jasper looked outraged.

"What about me?" I joked.

She eyed me for a moment, without saying anything, and then turned briskly to Carlisle. "Weren't we about to get started?" She asked cheerily.

My mouth dropped open, but I dismissed the jibe.

"Paul," Sam called lowly, "put your damn clothes on. We didn't come here to start the war – we'll end it if anything." Paul stuck his tongue out at his leader, but didn't dare disobey a direct edict and donned a pair of ripped shorts. At Sam's bellicose statement, the wolves had rippled uneasily and we drew closer, more alert.

"Why are you back?" Sam asked Carlisle coldly.

"We have the right to live where we wish," Carlisle replied calmly.

"Some would say you _don't_ have the right to endanger humans."

"We told you; we're veg -." Carlisle tried to say.

"We know, we know," Paul taunted. "_Vegetarian_ vampires – who could _ever _suspect you? What's for dinner tonight, Ma, broccoli?" he asked Esme whose smile tightened.

Another one of the wolves transformed and cuffed Paul wildly around his head. They glared at each other until the boy said, "Watch it, Paul."

"Mind yourself, Jacob," Paul snarled.

"Jacob, Paul," Sam warned. He glanced back at Carlisle. "Shall we agree on the same terms then? Same consequences."

"Stay off our land and we'll stay off yours," Jasper said. "It's that simple."

"I trust we'll have no encroachment of humans," Sam asked suspiciously.

"Of course, not; we've never slipped," Carlisle reminded him patiently.

"Here…" Jacob said pointedly as several of wolves shifted uneasily.

"Who on earth would we bite?" Rose asked, exasperated.

"_He_ wasn't so pliable last time." Sam nodded at me. My family looked uneasy, even a little embarrassed.

"She's gone – I haven't seen her in years – when and why would I bite anyone else."

"Bella is-." Sam started looking bewildered.

"Sam!" Jacob shouted, his perplexed glance turning devious. He had stopped his thoughts in their tracks. "I want a word." He beckoned to his leader. "Brady, Collin – maybe this is a chance for you to practice your calculus?"

On of the younger wolves whined.

"Now!" Jacob barked, sounding quite dog-like even though he hadn't transformed.

"In Quileute!" Sam added and he and Jacob disappeared; the barking and yelping a few minutes later indicated they had both transformed.

When in wolf form, the pack thought as one and so with Brady and Collin doing painfully wrong calculus, positively screaming in their heads, I couldn't hear what Sam and Jacob were discussing although I caught snippets like, "Bella…Forks…fool…doesn't know…"

When they returned, Jacob was smirking so hard I thought his entire face might have cracked in two from his smugness.

"I believe…" Even Sam looked happier. "We have a deal."

Carlisle and Sam shook hands.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

Lady Fate, it seemed, wished to make a fool of me. Or at least, torture me until I went insane.

Grace, yes, she who reminded me constantly of Bella – by habit, by musk. Whatever it chose to be on any given day; every class with her was a hell: a painful trip down memory lane that threatened to lose me among its reminiscences.

Why was I drawn so intensely to her? Our bond was something that couldn't be fabricated or overcome by coercion, time, or distance; perhaps it was for the best. What could I gain by pretending I didn't love her as much as I really did? Even if Bella was gone, long disappeared in the folio of history, wiped clean from the pages of Forks.

And I had lost to the right over her. But even with my grave sin, could I find my happily ever after, at least, Esme thought so. Did I have the right to? After what I had done to the first woman I loved?

It depended, I concluded, on how she had coped. Unlike Alice who said, all I needed was to 'put myself out there.' She didn't understand though, already having a partner, that I didn't want a transient human relation – I wanted one like…Bella.

Was this possible?

I needed to know. Now.

I stood up in the middle of class; the teacher looked in my direction.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen, can I help you?" He asked. I ignored him, walking out of the room. "Mr. Cullen! Mr. Cullen – you cannot just walk out – Mr. Cullen!" I walked down the hall, looking for the nearest exit. I smell security coming down one of adjacent hallways and headed them off.

When I reached my car in the parking lot, Alice was leaning up against the Volvo. She looked at me expectantly as I came toward her.

"You better not leave scratches," I said irritably.

"I hope you know what you're doing," She said, and her treble voice sounded a little sad. "You've put us through a lot, Edward. There's a very real possibility that all the things connected with that place could destroy you."

"Or I could find the answer."

"You could," She agreed, "But unless it's the answer is yes – we'll have a bigger problem on our hands than depression; catatonia."

"I know what I'm doing, Alice." I said shortly.

"I hope you do, Edward!" She fired back. "The last time you told us that – you had a breakdown afterwards. For someone who thinks he's a hell bound creature, you sure are selfish."

"If I'm hell bound, what's the point being good?" I sneered.

"Why did you ever save her then?" She asked quietly.

"I…" I didn't have an answer.

"Don't lie to us…or yourself. You know deep down you don't actually believe that crap." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a cigarette and lighter and lit the former with the latter. She gave me a meaningful glance and inhaled deeply.

"I didn't know you smoked," I said, amused.

"I don't _smoke_ really," She said thoughtfully. "But when I know you're going to go do something stupid – all the time, then – it calms me down," She sniped. She pressed the lighted end to her skin. "Warm."

"Maybe I'm not the only one with a problem," I teased her.

"No, we have our own. But your's is definitely the biggest." She touched my cheek and then turned away, starting to walk back to school. _That feels nice,_ She thought to herself. _Warm._

"We love you Edward, but we can't keep getting hurt forever."

Things that have history behind them tend to draw me to them powerfully. The highway was nearly deserted so I was allowed to speed as much as I wanted. I left the car on the side of road and followed the trail, closely, quickly. After a few miles, I began to the light slipping through the trees to my eyes. I raced faster and finally broke through the line of trees and collapsed in the circular meadow, breathing deeply.

There was already someone there.

Bella.

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**Review.**


	5. Chapter 4 :: The Meadow

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, which will win?

**This story is based on the premise that after leaving Edward managed to stay away and Bella did not jump off the cliff. Listen to ****_Eyes On Fire _by _Blue Foundation_ while reading this. Enjoy.  
**

**xoxo,**

**-ei**

* * *

**Chapter 4: The Meadow**

_EPOV:_

"Amazing," I breathed. It was better than any of my dreams, nightmares, delusions…so real; it was almost too much to bear.

"Edward," she whispered.

I was captivated. Her hair was the same chocolate brown; her skin the same smooth ivory; her lips soft and kissable. I was rooted to the spot. I had forgotten how beautiful her eyes were. Deep and warm, they reflected me in the sunlight – a horrid thing.

Option three: I loved her. She loved me. Nothing would change that because neither of us could ever move on.

I took one step toward my beautiful hallucination and, for the first time in my life, lost my balance. I toppled silently to the grass, not ever taking my eyes off her.

She hurried toward me, biting her lip anxiously. My Bella; beautiful, alive, sadly passé, and infuriatingly, I still couldn't hear her thoughts.

"Edward," She whispered.

I didn't answer.

"Edward?" she repeated, looking more worried.

"Hello Bella," I said evenly, rising again.

She held a hand out to me as if worried I'd fall again. I took it and kissed it. She colored beatifically. I took her face in my hands, smiling widely.

"This is fabulous," I murmured, "It's the best one yet." I leaned forward to kiss her lips, but she pulled against my hands.

"Edward, stop." At her rebuke, I dropped my hands to my side.

My common sense was telling me that this was endangering her. I had sworn to her that I'd leave her alone. I had sworn that I'd take my dark shadow out of her sunlit life; that I'd leave her to make her own choices, and to lead a life with a soul.

But the thing was, no matter what I had sworn, the misery was just too much. And when I said misery, I meant misery. Jasper had refused to let me feel any pain. And the lack of which left a blank hole.

No matter what I had promised her, no matter the others that had not so clandestinely entered my life in order to take her place, Tanya, and there had been others…I had come to realize one thing: my existence meant absolutely nothing without her. She had become a part of me, and it took decades of being without her plus a succubus who tried too hard to make me realize this. All my self-restraint and ever promise I had made to keep myself from this, faded into the void.

There was a hunk of me that I had left in Bella's keeping; I suspected that it was my heart even though the organ suspected hadn't actually worked in the past century; I could feel that it was missing from my chest. Now I realized that it wasn't only my heart, my entire body and being a shrine to her existence.

It seemed as though nothing had changed: the sunlight was pooling on Bella's face so that I could see the dark circles under her eyes; she'd lost weight. Despite this, she was even more beautiful, if possible, than she had been when I left. And though I remembered her as clearly as though it had been yesterday, I realized that my thoughts had never truly done her physique justice.

My eyes devoured her. I could hear her heart, beating steadily and slowly. I could feel her warmth like the sun on my face. I could smell her scent, intensely strong in the room, and I breathed it in greedily. It was like a balm, soothing my pain and even going part of the way to heal the cavity in my chest.

I opened my mouth but quickly closed it.

What would I say? What _could_ I say?

Would she _ever_ forgive me?

I wasn't even sure if she still loved me; I couldn't even contemplate what finding out it would be like if she didn't. I deliberately steered my thoughts away from that notion.

Seemingly of its own accord, my arm reached out to touch her cheek. It was warm, as always, and my eyes picked out the natural blush on her skin. Softly, as lightly as I could, I stroked her face. My fingers tingled as if I was touching a live current.

_I can't stay; she would never have me back._ I could never come to terms with the fact I would be stealing her soul. Maybe it was just never meant to be in the first place. With a great effort, I stopped touching her.

She looked at me, and I looked at her. I wished so hard that she could just forget what I had done to her, and everything could go back as it was. I forgot her soul; I forgot everything, in the consuming desire of that wish.

She put a hand up to her cheek, the one that I had just stroked.

I took a half-step back, and then couldn't bring myself to go any further away from her. Bella extended an arm tentatively. She brushed my face, down from my forehead to my chin. I shivered, but I still couldn't move.

And then she held my face in her hands. Almost painfully, my heart catapulted back into my chest. For the first time in ages, I felt alive. My arms came up to embrace her. I pushed my face into her shoulder and breathed in the wonderful fragrance of her skin, just as she was breathing in mine.

I knew in that moment that I could never be parted from her ever again.

"Edward?" She asked.

"Yes?" I replied softly.

"Are you real?" She asked cautiously.

What a curious question. Whatever did she mean by that? "Yes."

"You're going to leave again, aren't you?" The cautiousness in her voice turned to raw terror. I felt tainted, evil, and malicious. To think that I could inspire such fear in the one I loved. The thought nauseated me.

"No," I said, and I made each word an oath: "I will _never_ leave you, _ever_, _ever_, _ever_ again."

She fainted.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

I rushed by the babbling brook nearby, feverishly but I heard her stirring and so I returned. She held her face in her hands.

"Hallucination, dream. I'm insane," She was muttering.

"Bella," I whispered, afraid to frighten her again. She looked up and her eyes were wide with terror. She edged away from me, blinking rapidly. Apparently she thought I would disappear. Then comforted perhaps that I wasn't a delusion, she put a hand out and touched my face again with her fingertips. She felt so warm and delicious; I wanted to embrace her but she still looked terrified.

"Edward…you…here?" She asked finally, gasping a little.

I was on my knees. "Bella. Please, I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I just left because I wanted to give you a chance at a normal life."

"What?" She looked confused.

"I wanted you to live a normal life. I wasn't good for you," I pleaded.

"Edward," She bent down to her knees to match my height. "Edward, you're so stupid." I blinked. "The moment I met you, I had no chance for a normal life." I frowned. "But you're forgetting one very important fact, I'm a danger magnet, remember? I attract anything and everything that's mildly harmless to life threatening in a ten mile radius and that has continued even after you left."

"What?" I panicked.

"There are werewolves in La Push."

"I knew that, but now…?" I looked around warily.

"No, no one's here now, but—."

"Bella! I'm sorry. I just wanted what's best for you."

"You were best for me," she said ruefully.

"I was dangerous. You saw what happened!"

"It's funny how when we want the best for people, we end up hurting them even more," She said coolly.

"Bella, I'm sorry," I begged. "Don't beg. It's depressing." She sighed and sat back on the ground. "I waited for you, you know. I knew you would come back; I'll still love you even now. I'll always love you, Edward. But—."

"Bella! I love you, too! Come away with me, Bella!" I took her hand in mine. "I'll do whatever it takes to recapture your heart. I sing ballads for you...I'll..." She shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I'm married."

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

"I know, but your husband…he isn't…" I fell back, off my knees and gazed dazedly up at her. "You got _married_…?" I tried to speak normally but my voice sounded stilted. "When?"

"Eighteen years ago, two years after you, left. I waited for you, but Charlie didn't want to let me waste my life waiting…"

"But I came," I said. "I came back to Forks. I was going to beg you to take me back. But you had gone."

"I went to college – left early. I couldn't stand it here. It reminded me too much…of you." I nodded dumbly. "Edward, is everyone else here?" I nodded again. "You're staying right?" I nodded again, tacitly. "Say something!" She pleaded. "Don't look at me like that."

"I'm such a fool."

"No! Don't say that! You did it for me! And you know I'll always love you! Isn't that enough?" Instantly, I had my arms around her, and our lips were separated by an inch of frigid air. Her eyes were wide again, and I could feel venom rushing into my mouth as her heart revved.

"Don't," she whispered. "Please, Edward. I'm married." She looked so very frail and she wasn't going to fight back. She knew I was stronger than she was.

I was disgusted with myself. _Didn't I even have self-control? What was wrong with me?_ I let go of her quickly, holding my head in my hands, watching her stagger back. She paused and then relief broke her face. It was heartbreaking: Bella, my Bella, was relieved that I…hadn't kissed her.

"Sit down," She offered, patting the ground next to her. I shook my head. She grabbed my arm and pulled me down. "Edward, stay here. Don't leave again." She said. "For a change."

"I'm a blatant fool," I fumed.

"Edward!" She reprimanded angrily. "Now, I'll have to talk to Sam and make sure that you're allowed in La Push. It's wolf territory, but since you're with me, I think, it'll be alright."

"Are you an alpha or something?" I laughed lightly.

"I'm —." But what exactly she was, I didn't hear. Giant paws were padding toward us. I rose crouched protectively in front of Bella. "Bella, stay behind me."

Edward, don't be silly." She ignored my edict and came out from behind me at the same time that russet wolf that I recognized as Jacob Black emerged from the gloomy woods. He eyed me, his thoughts waxing explosive.

The giant dog gazed at us for a long moment and then transformed in a naked man. The man, Jacob, older than I remembered, glared at me. His eyes hardened and he stretched to meet my height.

"Son of a bitch!" He shouted, pushing me back. I did nothing: I knew that I deserved it.

"Jake, don't!" Bella protested. "Don't! It's not his fault!"

"How are you on his side? He left you in pieces!" He bellowed at her.

Bella and I winced but she continued bravely, "I know, but if anyone should be mad, it's me, and I forgave him."

He glowered at me. "What are you doing here anyway, bloodsucker?" He sneered. "I thought you didn't know she was here."

"Jake!" Bella hissed.

"I'm not as thick-headed as you are, mutt. Why don't you go to the pound where you belong?" I snarled, matching his condescending tone.

"Edward!"

"You little bastard!" He roared, balling his hands into fists. We glared each other ready to throw punches if necessary.

"Stop!" Bella screamed. "Jake! Clam it! He's was my ex, not yours!"

She rounded on me, and sighed, "Edward…I'm sorry about this. Come back when we've all cooled down. Meanwhile I'll work out something with Sam." I moved quickly to the faint outline of the path behind me, but she stopped me. And threw her arms around me. I gladly accepted; it felt heavenly to be in her warmth. "I've missed you," She murmured.

"And I." Impulsively and in rebellion, I kissed her forehead, met Jacob's glare with one of my own, and departed. When I reach home, my heart, after a quarter century of grief and anguish, felt light and free. The feeling was exhilarating.

Carlisle and Esme were in the living room, talking. "Edward!" Esme hugged me. "I was so worried!"

"I'm, fine. I was with, Bella," Instead of surprise, she and Carlisle broke into smiles.

"We know."

"Alice, I suppose."

"Upstairs, waiting for you."

I flashed upstairs and broke down her door. She lay on her bed, limp and motionless as a rag doll. Her face was all smiles. The little wench. "Alice, I'm sorry." I said heavily.

She sat up, her young face wide with blithe.

"I've been horrible to you these last twenty-five years. My apologies. I know this was for my benefit."

She kissed my cheek. "Forgiven, brother."

"What can I do to make it up to you?"

She pretended to ponder this. "Oh, I don't know – a Porsche would be nice," She intimated, grinning.

* * *

**Review.**


	6. Chapter 5 :: The Big Fat Monster Dinner

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, which will win?

**This story is based on the premise that after leaving Edward managed to stay away and Bella did not jump off the cliff. Listen to ****_Here Without You _by _3 Doors Down_ while reading this. Enjoy.**

**This chapter is an entire page longer so enjoy and _review_, my loves =)**

**Can anyone guess the two allusions in this chapter?  
**

**xoxo,**

**-ei**

* * *

**Chapter 5: My Big Fat Monster Dinner  
**

_EPOV:_

"Bella?" I answered eagerly, on the first ring.

"Hello, Edward," She said quietly, seeming reserved.

"Should I come there or ought we meet somewhere in town?"

She hesitated.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked, reading into her silence.

"We can't see each other just yet, Edward."

"Is this because of your asinine hus-."

"Edward, please. Show some respect, if not for him, for me. He _is_ my husband," She said sharply, sounding almost angry.

"Right. My apologies. But why then?"

"I suppose I can't blame Jake." She said, sounding thoughtful. "He's worried that if I see you again…I might leave him – silly, right? I know."

_Perhaps not. I'd leave him right away were I you. _Yet, I answered. "Right. Of course."

"I'm sure he'll come around and see that no one can change how much I love him…not even you."

"Bella, _you_ know you love him. _I_ know you do. I respect you: I would never try to change your mind or force myself – you know that. Isn't that enough?"

She laughed. "I know that, but men are impossible – you know that best, I'm sure."

"I'm feeling the impossibility right now enough," I replied, surly.

"I'll respect his wishes, Edward. He is my husband, but if I think he's going too far – I can deal with him; I dealt with you, didn't I? I'll see you in a week – it can't take him longer than that. Alright?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Edward?"

"Yes?" I asked eagerly.

"I'm afraid watching me sleep is out of the question."

I kept my voice even with some difficulty. "Yes, one voyeur is enough, isn't it?"

"He's more than a voyeur," She joked, laughing.

I cringed. I'd forgotten our predicament, the same we'd had before I'd left, twenty years ago: intimacy with a werewolf was not impossible. Sex with a vampire was.

Esme came out of the kitchen, smiling brightly. "Are you going to…" She saw my fallen face and quickly changed track. "…to school today?"

"I suppose." I answered morosely. "Don't have anything better to do, do I?"

She didn't answer.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

I left for school with my siblings who were once again loud and boisterous. Jasper didn't need to repress me anymore, now that I had vanquished my depression. But I couldn't bring myself to endure hours of teachings that I already knew.

I sat on the front stoop of the stairs leading to the main building, studying the sky, reminiscing, breathing, being, reliving with full intensity the twenty years that I had missed.

But then, what were two decades when I could live forever?

_Would _I live forever? Now that I had seen Bella, my contingencies were different – had to be. Once she died, in a matter of fifty to sixty years, I would have to go to Italy. Nothing had changed, not even if she didn't love me back.

Dainty footsteps broke my thoughts. Someone was emerging from a giant red pick-up truck that was stalling in front of the building. Someone who stepped out and gasped at the sight of me.

"Edward? Shoot, what are you doing here?"

"I'm seventeen, Bella – I'm at school," I teased her.

Her face fell. "I forgot you didn't age. I didn't realize you were still in high school, or at least, not this one."

"Why are you here?" I asked her, confused.

"My daughter, I needed to pick her up."

Her daughter. Yet another way Jacob Black surpassed me. I couldn't have sired her any children. All I could bring was a cursed existence that lasted forever.

"Might I meet her?" I asked timidly.

She grinned. "Sure, c'mon. If I'm going to break the rules, might as well do it thoroughly, right?"

She grabbed my hand, and I nearly melted into my shoes – I'd forgotten how warm she was, her hand in mine sending spirals of heat through me. I could imagine lying on the hot sand of the tropical beach of her body, which had probably matured with grace.

I froze, causing her to rebound. _No! No! No!_ I chastised myself. I was not allowed to think her that way; she had a husband, no need to torture myself anymore than was necessary. "Please," I said, opening the door for her, masking my shame. "You first."

I followed her into the main office where she asked for her daughter to be summoned. The receptionist looked askance at me, but I gave her a dazzling smile which wiped any thoughts of hooky from her flustered mind.

"Would you like to come home with me?" Bella asked. "Dinner, maybe? Perhaps, over dinner, you and Jacob can call a truce."

"Unlikely, but I accept."

The door the swung open, and my acquaintance, Grace, walked in. "Mom! Edward?" She looked from me to her mother.

I asked, "Your daughter?" as Bella posed, "You know each other?"

"We've met," I said carefully.

The double dose of sweet scent causing my mouth to fill with venom. My throat turned veiny as it did when I was aroused and I nearly threw my head back, as I typically did before a hunt, but managed to pass it off as stretching and cracking my neck, gripping the leather arms of the chair tightly.

But Bella caught this. "Does she…smell…also?" She asked quietly, leading us out.

"Yes, to a lesser degree, something like-."

She cut me off with a swift glance. "Later." She was very nervous as we drove home. Jumpy, staring at her daughter in the rearview mirror like she might disappear before her eyes.

I turned my nose up at the speedometer.

She noticed. "Are you calling me a bad driver?"

"I don't know…am I?"

"I think you are."

"Really? I was under the impression I was libeling you a horrible driver." I teased her, smiling. She smiled too but it quickly flitted from her face.

"Mom, what's going on, how do you know Edward?" Grace persisted, confused by our familiarity.

"I met him when _I_ was in high school, sweetie."

"He must only have been four or five," her daughter said, looking confused.

"Trust me, he hasn't changed." Bella and I exchanged a wink.

When we arrived at Bella's home, she ordered her daughter to go freshen up and be downstairs within the hour for we were all going out to dinner.

"All?" I asked.

"You, me, Rose, Jacob and his brothers, your family."

"Our big fat monster dinner party," I said, smirking.

Her face paled suddenly and she asked me again. "Does she smell like me?"

Somehow, this concerned her. "Somewhat like you, but almost as if diluted by salt water, less potent. I won't attack her if that's what you're worried about. And I doubt it's potent even for Jasper or anyone else."

She shook her head. "There's nobody I'd trust more, but…" Shem twiddled her thumbs restlessly. I stopped her hands and waited. "My blood was passed down to me through Renee, and I passed it down to Rose. When we met, you told me I was your singer." She said in a rushed breath, looking at me, biting her lip. "If you had arrived years earlier, would you have loved Renee or if we had never met and you arrived years later, would you have loved my daughter?"

I was astonished.

"Bella, no, no, no," I said, trying to explain myself, somewhat futilely. "No, my feelings for you have _nothing, _nothing, to do with your blood. I love _you_." I took her face in my hands to elucidate. "Your blood on the other hand – Renee and Grace don't have the same effect on me because it's your blood, which is distinct from theirs – is so potent, it's what caught my attention. Why would you ever think that, silly girl?" I asked, laughing lightly.

"I was afraid you might fall for Grace."

"You thought that I was a blood-born lover, in turn, charming each woman in your family for her lineage to you."

"Something like that," She said dryly.

"I love you. I will always love you. Nothing will ever change that – not time, not distance, not unrequition, not even your husband, nor your daughter."

She nodded unsteadily, but looked unconvinced. "Why do you love me?...You don't have to tell me if it's…too hard or…"

"I love you because you are the kindest, sweetest, more peculiar and odd human I know, and beautiful to boot."

She blushed. "Okay. Thank you. Would it be selfish to admit that I needed that?"

"A little," I smiled. "But I can make allowances."

She smiled softly. "I loved you, too."

The past tense stung, but I kept the hurt from my face.

"All the years you were gone, I always wondered…and sometimes, I even-."

"Mom!" Grace yelled from the bathroom upstairs.

"Coming, honey!" Bella yelled back. "Perhaps you should go home and warn the others. Jacob will be home soon and he will need some convincing…"

I sighed. "And that will be easier without me here, I suppose."

"Yeah," She cracked a smile. "Meet us at Charlie's at seven."

"Your wish, my command," I placed a chaste kiss on her cheek and melted out of the house.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

When I came home, the family, that is, the women were in a fury. Alice, Esme, and Rose were flitting from bathroom to bathroom, fixing their hair, their dresses. My brothers and father were, rather, parked in front of the game, Emmett looking especially uncomfortable in the tux he had been forced into.

"What's going on?" I asked, joining Jasper on the couch.

"Alice gave us the heads up, they're getting ready."

Getting ready apparently called for hours of preparation. But finally when it was four to seven I yelled for them to come down, even I couldn't drive at light speed.

"Ladies lookin' hot!" Emmett cheered.

We separated in our regular rides: me into my Ashton, Carlisle and Esme in the Mercedes, Rose and Emmett into the Saab, and Jazz and Alice into the new Porsche. We parked in the driveway and along the road and then I knocked, although I could have let myself in with the key from the eaves.

Grace answered the door, still looking thoroughly bewildered. "Hi, Edward. Is this…?"

"My family. Your mother invited us over for dinner." She eyed us all, though Jasper especially who clung closer to Alice in response.

"Come on in, you're right on time." She led us into the dining room, the room had been remodeled to fit on and seated us and then hauled me into the kitchen.

Bella was there making dinner.

"Here." I unloaded the stacked containers in my arms onto the counter.

"God, what are those?"

"Esme made provisions."

"Of course she did," Bella sighed happily. "It's been a long time since I've tasted her cooking. I bet it's still scrumptious."

"It smelled so."

"Grace, be a dear and go fetch you father and his friends and seat them." She told her daughter who promptly ran off. She turned back to me, the familiar worried look settling on her face. "They won't be angry, will they?"

"Why would they?" She didn't answer but continued to chew on her lip. "They won't blame you, love." She gave me an exasperated look. "…Bella. I'm serious. They think I'm the lunatic."

"Well, you are, a little," She said, sticking her tongue at me.

"I've come to realize and accept that, thank you. Come on."

I opened the door for her and stepped out. And slowly, almost disbelieving, she took in the sight before her, six fair smiling faces, five swarthy scowling ones, one uncertain one.

She turned to me. "You know, I never thought I'd see this sight."

Alice jumped up with a big smile plastered on to her face. "Bella!" She threw her arms around her. "Come on, sit."

The wolves tensed as the rest of my family rose as well. I caught Alice's eye; she grinned.

"Hello Bella," Carlisle said shaking her hand, smiling fondly at what might have been his newest daughter. Bella nodded and said hellos to the both of them.

"Bella?" Esme asked. "Is that really you?"

She smiled and nodded shyly.

Esme gave Bella a bone-crushing hug. She paused for a moment, unsure of whether she would be rebuked, but then Bella wrapped her arms around her and they both sobbed. When Esme was able to pull away, Carlisle as well reached over and gave Bella a tight hug.

We were seated then, after Emmett did his routine of picking her up and hugging her tightly enough that Jacob and I could agree that maybe she was being suffocated.

As we all sat down, "Well, isn't this nice?" Esme asked smiling.

"Well I'm sure everyone's been catching up, I'm sure," Carlisle said, making a valiant effort to include the wolves.

But surprisingly, it was not too difficult for the chatter to begin, Grace began chatting up Jasper while Jacob looked on stony-faced. She thought he was "hot." Esme was insisting that Bella was much too thin and I was sure Sam, Jacob, Jared, Paul, Quil, and Embry would soon have something to say about borders or school.

Sure enough, "This is good stuff, Bells," Jacob said gruffly, gesturing to the lasagna.

"Why thank you," Esme said cheerily, smiling kindly at him.

For a moment, Jacob looked thunderstruck as though he were on the verge of taking it back, but the expectant expression on his daughter's face made him choke up his explosive words and mumble a surly, "Sure."

But as dinner went on, even Grace caught on that we weren't eating. It turned into a game between us, switching plates when she wasn't looking. It was harder for Alice who was right next to her.

"Do you want some more?" She asked Alice. "Or something else?"

"No, I'm fine!" Alice forced a smile.

"Rose, go get some wine for Paul," Bella told her daughter, shaking his head. "He's going to need it." Perhaps she was right. Paul the wolf was looking rather ruddy and on the verge of spilling something about us.

Rosalie watched the human girl go. "Why did you name her that?" Rosalie asked Bella, who to general surprise blushed. "_Rosalie_ Grace Black? I would have thought you named her after Alice, you two did get along better."

Alice grinned.

Bella frowned. "I'm not sure. I just thought it was a nice name, you know. Pleasant, somewhat old-fashioned."

"Bella...!" The outburst came, surprisingly, from Jacob who was looking taken aback.

"Jacob!" Bella said warningly, her eyes flashing.

He nodded shortly. "Right."

"Bella?" Alice demanded.

"She insisted that -." Jacob began.

"Jacob!" Bella said, angry.

"The leech insists." He leered at Alice. "…you were the only one who didn't want her to become a vampire, weren't you, bloodsucker?" Bella looked abashed. "Looking at her daughter every day, reminded her of the life she never had – of you not wanting her to join the family. I didn't mind, I didn't know there were _good_ bloodsuckers."

"Rosalie, I'm sorry, he tells it so brashly."

"At least, I was telling the truth," he muttered under his breath.

Rosalie's pretty face was creased unhappily. "Bella, it wasn't that I didn't want you to be part of our family," Rosalie said slowly. "I was jealous."

"Of _me_?" Bella asked incredulously.

"Of _Bella_?" Embry asked, looking doubtful. Jacob cuffed him around the head.

"Thank you for that, Embry," Bella said stonily.

"I _wish_ I was..." She spared a mere half-glance at Grace. "that I wasn't _sick - _I _wish_ I could have children." Rosalie said heavily. "I was angry that you would be so ready to give it all up for _him_." Her face twisted in pain.

"Thanks, Rose." I said.

"You know what I mean, brother. I'm sorry, Bella, but would you give up your daughter now to go back and have him?"

"I-I…" She couldn't answer.

"I didn't think so. I was trying to help you." Rosalie explained.

"I wish I'd understood that – I was so bitter." She reached out toward Rosalie who placed her hand on top of Bella's; they exchanged pained smiles.

Jared pretended to vomit into his food, breaking the tense air.

"If you don't mind, maybe it would a good idea to re-align the treaty. Especially what with you living outside the current boundaries. We think of Bella rather as a member of our family," Carlisle addressed Sam.

"Of course. I spoke to Sam about it just yesterday. He agreed, and of course Jake isn't very happy about this, but he'll live." Bella said, casting a glance at her sullen husband.

"It's late." Her husband chose the moment to say, walking with his plate into the kitchen, followed by his wolf-brothers.

"You've gotten over your mall-o-phobia?" Alice asked with a smile.

Bella rolled her eyes but with a smile. "A little bit what with a teenage daughter."

"That sounds like a 'yes'," Rosalie said, smirking.

"Definitely," Alice said. "We must make plans!"

Bella winced.

Grace frowned at her mother. "You hate shopping with me, why are you going with them?" She complained.

Jacob thundered, "Grace needs to get to bed. And calm down Grace, no one's going anywhere."

"_You_ calm down, Jacob – you and your brothers have been entirely too pushy about this whole ordeal. I'm glad you behaved yourself, didn't you have a good time?" Bella asked the wolves.

"It would have been a better time if I could have ripped him apart, _limb to limb_," Jacob muttered under his breath to murmured noises of agreement from his brothers.

"Jacob!" Bella said angrily.

"Someone's sleeping in the doghouse tonight," said Emmett in a singsong voice.

Jacob growled, low, and gripped his jacket with veining arms, so his knuckles grew straight and sharp like claws. "Grace – bed – now." He said through clenched teeth.

"Good night everyone," Bella said, hugging Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and almost shyly, Rose. She stepped forward to me, perhaps to extend the same courtesy, but her eyes flickered toward her husband and she merely smiled and took my hand for a moment.

"Bye." I said, smiling like a simpleton. Regardless, when my family and I returned, I had a pensive smile on my face at which the women giggled and the men jeered.

To tell the truth, I was smitten.

Besotted.

Madly lost.

In love.

* * *

**Review.**


	7. Chapter 6 :: Precious

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, which will win?

**To all my readers and followers... first of all, thanks for coming with me all this way and being so patient while I struggle through high school and everything that goes with it.**

**Also, it's my birthday today! So, give me a great birthday by REVIEWING! =)**

**Listen to****_ Live Like We're Dying _by _Kris Allen_ while reading this. Enjoy.**

**xoxo,**

**-ei**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Precious  
**

_EPOV:_

We had reached a truce, Jacob and I. Whenever I was in his presence, he'd managed to keep his thoughts silent, focusing on insignificant thoughts, but once I had caught him unprepared: his mind was seething.

_I find more reasons to hate him with each passing day. He just can't seem to leave her alone for more than five minutes. He's constantly popping in with some stupid excuse: _"You left your jacket in the car," _or_ "I thought you would like some lunch," _or my' favorite', which I'm sure he does because he knows how it pisses me off, was_: "I 'forgot' to kiss you goodbye."

We hated each other, although he had more of an acceptable rationale than I did, but he'd known he was fighting a losing war; he knew that he couldn't keep me out of La Push if he wanted to be on good terms with Bella. But we'd come to an agreement, somewhat circuitously.

_"I'd like to try being friends," __He stared at me and then scoffed. "You're kidding, right?"_

_"No. Especially if Bella forces us to coexist, we have to learn to get along."_

_"I hate you. Don't you know that?"_

_"The feeling is mutual, mongrel."_

_"But your feelings are inconsequential, bloodsucker! I'm her husband. So I have the first right over her. And, you, ha!" He scoffed. "You don't have an excuse! I'm the one who stood by her when you left!"_

_"I'm thankful for that."_

_He was breathing heavily with pent-up anger. "So why the hell are you even here? To bring back those painful memories?"_

_"How would I know she lived here still?"_

_"Why wouldn't she? Charlie needed her." He looked at the ground. "You don't know what it was like for her when you left. She cried when ever I brought your name up. She had nightmares for months. It drove Charlie crazy. She was always skinny. And as pale as a ghost. She was a shadow of what she used to be." I winced. "And you!" He yelled, lunging forward into my face. "You come back after she's all healed and try to steal her again! What's wrong with you? Don't you have any shame?" he shook his head in disgust._

_"Charlie would have killed you for this, leech, no matter what it took." He said, making sure I understood his deep loathing._

_"I learn from my mistakes, Jacob Black. I'm here until she orders me away. And what do you know, dog? Do you think I left because I was tired? Ready to move on to my next naïve prey?" I snarled, hating myself. "No. I decided that I was too dangerous for me and tore myself away. It wasn't any easier, wondering if she wasn't even alive! And that I would have no idea where she was or how she was doing? I needed her. She's my lifeline."_

_"You don't have a life, you pathetic excuse for a being."_

_No, you're right. My existence, if that suits you. Without her, there's no purpose to my existence. I love her…more than anything."_

_"I don't think there was any purpose to your existence than to piss me off," He snarled. Then he composed his face. "I'm better for her. I'm more human that you are. And I've stopped morphing since two years ago so I'm aging at the same rate as she is. So when she dies, I'll be close." He sneered at me. "What are you going to do when she dies, bloodsucker?"_

_I looked at the ground. _Forty years was the maximum I could expect now. And that wasn't a long time at all, considering myself to be about a century and a quarter. _I caught sight of my watch and swore._

_"Well, it was very enlightening to be talking to you, Jacob." I nodded at him. "May the best man win."_

_He stared at me and then nodded. "That sounds about right…leech."_

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

Bella was already out. Swinging on her porch swing. Waiting for me. I came to a stop and she hugged me.

"Bella," I murmured into her hair.

She studied my face. "Mountain lion?"

"A grizzly. Wasn't much to pick from."

"What a pity," She said sarcastically. "Come on. Let's go inside." She went into the kitchen and mixed herself lemonade. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?" She asked, wickedly stern.

"School is insignificant."

"Of course. It loses value when you take it over five times, huh?"

"The tedium is unbearable." I paused. "I have something for you," I whispered, suddenly nervous.

"What is it?" She asked, wary. I pulled out the shirt and unfurled it in front of her. She raised an eyebrow. "That's mine."

"Actually, you threw yours away. Alice bought this."

"Edward, I grew. I'm not exactly the same size as when I was in high school."

"Alice knows all." She reluctantly took it and went upstairs to change.

Meanwhile I explored her house. It seemed to be based on sunlight. There appeared windows wherever I turned. My skin shone incessantly.

"You're beautiful." I heard her whisper from the bottom of the stairs and turned, biting back a gasp at my coruscating skin.

"No. _You're_ beautiful," I corrected, stroking her face.

"I wish you could say that about someone else," She said sadly, turning away.

"I thought that maybe I could, but there were no distractions and you will always be the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I knew I shouldn't have accepted the shirt," She mumbled, tugging unhappily at it.

"Please, keep it." I pleaded.

"I will. I wouldn't insult Alice. And, I wanted to ask you something," She demurred.

"Anything," I qualified.

"What did you do while you were, away?"

"Nothing," I said simply.

"Edward." She looked skeptical.

"Truly, Bella. I was living it one day at a time. I simply curled into a ball and let the misery eat me alive. I made it very difficult for Jasper."

"What did you do?"

She swallowed noisily. "If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about it," She dismissed, taking a sip of lemonade.

"Why not?" I demanded sharply.

The color drained steadily from her face. "Ask Jake. He'll tell you."

"Bella, don't be difficult," I said, vexed. "I want _you_ to tell me."

"Edward, please. I'd really rather not."

She'd rather not, or perhaps, there was nothing to talk about. Was that it? Was she simply reluctant because she had truly felt nothing? She'd probably gone through a withdrawal period like every other adolescent girl and then moved on to a worthier supernatural beau.

"Oh, well," I murmured softly.

"What?" She scrutinized me carefully.

"That's…good. Better than I expected." I tried to sound casual, although a little saddened that our separation hadn't been as painful as it had been for me. Of course, I should expected that: my love was truly profound.

"What?" she asked again, louder.

"You needn't have lied."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're a bad liar, Bella. If you hadn't felt anything, you just had to tell me," I said in a monotone.

She paused

She slapped me.

"You _idiot_!" She cried. "Of course, I felt something! I loved you _more_ than you loved me! It hurt to think about you! It _still_ hurts to think about back then! You tore me apart! Every moment I cried!" She was shaking with grief and anger. "Of course, I felt _something_!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just wanted to know what you were thinking."

She lightly punched my arm, bruising her white hand. I caught her hand and kissed her fingers.

"You're being so cruel, Edward! How could you doubt me like that?" She said softly.

"I'm sorry," I pleaded, repulsed with myself for making her grieve so.

"What would you say if I presumed that of you?" She asked, wiping her eyes.

"I'd say you were crazy. That I loved you more than you could see."

"Exactly. And you sit here and tell me that you lived twenty-four years, day-by-day and expect me not to have, cried, for you when you left?" She demanded, again blinded by tears.

"Don't cry," I begged. "I've had nightmares about you crying. Don't let them come true!"

"You thought of me and expected me to not dream of you?" She continued, weeping. She let her head fall on my shoulders and I put my arms around her.

"Bella," I prodded, shifting her so she lay in my arms.

"How do I feel?" She asked quietly, the sobs subsiding.

"Warm, like I'm being burned but I enjoy the pain. And you smell, ambrosial."

"You smell divine," She giggled softly.

"You never told me what you did," I urged her, cautiously.

She let out a ragged breath. "I pretended, for Charlie's sake, I pretended I wasn't going insane. But I wasn't very convincing. He nearly had me committed."

"I didn't even try to pretend for my family's sake, I commend you for that at least. Did you stay out of trouble like you promised me?"

She laughed. "Trouble? I looked for trouble!"

"What?"

"Didn't you see the bikes out there? Jake takes me out on them every now and then."

"That's dangerous!" I hissed, outraged.

"No, nothing is dangerous anymore. Except you of course."

"Me?"

"I still love you, you know. If you leave again, I won't exist. I've gone crazy once. I know what my limits are. Or Jake will probably end up killing me out of mercy. And then you'll be sorry." She giggled wildly.

"Don't joke about that," I growled, but her succulent smell had already cooled my anger. We lay there in each other's arms and then Bella lifted her head from where it rested against my cheek.

"We need to stop doing that." She swallowed. "Jake may be coming home soon. I mean, if he found us like that, he would make assumptions," I nodded.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

A few hours later, her daughter came home from school. She looked askance at me when she walked into the living room. "Hey, wait a second. Why aren't you in school, mister?" Grace asked.

"Grace, mind your business. You're not his mother." Grace pursed her lips, peeved. Then in a softer, sadder undertone so only I could hear, Bella whispered, "But I could be." Her daughter stuck her tongue at her mother's back and went upstairs.

"Well, I suppose you should be going, now. Jake's coming home soon and I want to avoid a re-confrontation for as long as possible."

"Hey wait, Edward!" Grace called after us as we left. "Are you eating dinner again?"

I weighed my answer carefully. "I really would love to spend more time here. I haven't seen Bell—your mother in quite a long time."

"Why don't you just move in?" She muttered under her breath. "God, my mother's such a cougar."

I choked back a laugh, shaking my head at Bella's raised eyebrows, but quickly sobered. "What am I going to say when she notices that I don't eat, day-after-day?" I whispered to Bella as she saw me off.

She shrugged. "Be creative. Say you need to lose weight."

"Bella, I am the last person who needs to lose weight. And I couldn't if I wanted to."

She froze and then said sharply, "No need to rub it in."

"Oh, Bella! I didn't mean it that way." I put my arm around her shoulder. "You're the most beautiful woman in the world. How many times must I tell you?"

She smiled. "Well, alright. But don't fall in love with her or anyone while you're here. It's hard enough now as is. Don't make it harder for any of us veterans."

My answering smile was smug. "Too late."

"You're incorrigible," She said, shaking her head.

I stared at her, storing that picture in my memory.

Each moment I had, was precious.

* * *

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	8. Chapter 7 :: The Redhead's Return

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, who will win?

**To all my readers and followers... guess what? I finished this story. That is to say, the finished version is on my desktop and I plan to once a week.**

**That being said, if you want me to update sooner like say, every three days, you should do one thing: REVIEW. I've made it easier for you by providing the lovely button at the bottom of the page. ****If you want me to update sooner, I want at least 5-10 reviews. Not too much to ask, right?**

**Listen to****_ Bomb The World _by _The Sleeping_ while reading this. Enjoy.**

**xoxo,**

**-ei**

* * *

**Chapter 7: The Redhead's Return  
**

_EPOV_:

"What _is_ going on between you two?"

Her fragrance was exactly like Bella's and it smelled heavenly. "I beg your pardon?" I hadn't been paying attention.

Grace repeated, "What is going on between my mother and _you_?"

"There is _nothing_ going on," I said with mock simplicity.

She raised her pert eyebrows. "Look. I am not dull nor am I oblivious, alright? I saw everything that happened yesterday."

_If she was speaking to me with that human inflection, then she obviously hadn't. _I coughed, mocking her.

She sighed, her brows knitting together in frustration. "You know, my mother always said she wanted to name me Alice, but she also told me that if I had been born a boy, she'd have named me Edward." I froze. "Is that supposed to mean anything?" Her voice was thick with sarcasm.

"Must be a coincidence. I'm only seventeen," I told her, outwardly miffed, inwardly glowing with pride. "Your mother shouldn't have known me when I hardly even born," I said shortly.

She tried another tack. "Why was my dad so mad at you? He was yelling when you came over Thursday."

"I made a mistake that cost your mother and I, our relationship." I refused to say friendship, even if it gave us away. "And when Jacob took care of her, in the aftermath, he found out what I had done, and was, as you noticed, no doubt, extremely angry, as he well should be."

"What was your mistake? And why was it so serious if you're were only, what four, when it happened?"

"That is not for me to tell. Why don't you ask your mother?" I was beginning to get vexed.

"I did. She wouldn't tell me."

"It's her choice. Ask your father. I'm sure he would be overjoyed to tell you of what a fool I was," I muttered bitterly.

"Actually, I did ask him, but he wouldn't tell me either." She said coolly. "All he said was that you're were one of _them._" She said the word scathingly as Jacob would have said it.

I swallowed uneasily. "You _know_?" Perhaps, I had judged prematurely.

She smiled coldly. "Of course, my father's a wolf – why wouldn't I? But enough, "I'm her daughter! Don't I have a right to know?"

"No. Unless she wants to tell you. Maybe when-."

"Say it, say she'll tell me when I'm older and I'll go jail for what bury under the porch," She muttered threateningly, cracking her hands with a menace born of wolfish genes. I didn't hear the rest of her mumblings because my cell phone had vibrated in my pocket.

Ignoring her interjections, "Hello?" I whispered, ducking under the table.

"Edward, where are you?"

"Bella?"

"I'm at Carlisle's hospital."

All the possible things that could have happened to her flooded my mind; I fought to clear it. "Bella, are you alright? Are you hurt?" She heard the fear in my voice.

"Edward. I'm fine. But Jake isn't. And…he wants to talk to you about something."

Great; I rolled my eyes. "Alright, I'm coming."

"The rest of the pack is coming, too. They'll give you a ride."

"Do not _move_," I enunciated, "I'll be there as soon as I can," I assured her, snapping the phone shut, and grabbing my stuff. I bid Grace good-bye and told I'd see her in a few days. As I hurried out of the science building, a car came roaring down the road, fish tailed around, and stopped in front of me.

"Jump in, leech," Sam said, gritting his teeth; this had obviously been against his better judgement. Obviously giving vampires rides was again their principles. I hopped the low door into shotgun. They took off, topping at ninety.

"Am I allowed to know what exactly is going?" I asked irritably after a minute of tense silence. Sam exchanged glances with the wolves in the back seat.

"We've encountered another one of your types," He said curtly. "It's a female. And we've made sure that it's no one from your clan."

I thought hard about whom that might. I hoped that it wasn't anyone from Denali: Carlisle would have a lot of explaining to do if Tanya, Irina, Carmen, Eleazar, or Kate were killed.

"Could you describe this female?"

"She's preying in Seattle; it's been on the news that there's been a dozen or so consecutive murders, each committed in the same way."

_No one from Alaska then_. I sighed, relieved.

"She seems to be after someone; her intrusions are very systematic; she's taking a direct route into town but we've managed to head her off every time."

"After something?" I asked, thinking hard. _Could it be?_ The fear I had been harboring for so long. "Laurent's sending people after us." I whispered.

"Laurent?"

"He was traveling with a nomadic group; I killed a friend of his."

"Does he, by any chance, have black hair?" Asked a young boy in the backseat.

"Is he black?" The other asked.

"Yes!" I looked sharply at the pups.

"Good. We've taken care of him. He's dead. He was sneaking downtown; the female was a decoy. She's a redhead."

Realization struck me; I snapped my fingers. "Victoria," I hissed, a guttural growl escaping my lips.

"_Who?_"

"The female, her name is Victoria."

The boys sighed dismissively. "We don't really care about the name, but I take you know her?" Sam explained hurriedly.

I ignored him, thinking out aloud, "Yes! When we last were here. I killed her mate who was after Bella..."

"She's after Bella?" One of the pups asked, confused.

"No, she's after m-..." I trailed off, focusing on the carved wolf on the dashboard. "Yes! Oh god, why didn't I see that before? She wasn't after me _or_ my family. It was Bella, the whole time!" I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose between my index fingers. "She wants revenge: eye for eye, mate for mate." _Why hadn't I seen that before?_

"What the hell?" Summed up the rest of coherent thoughts from the other occupants of the vehicle.

"This changes things," I said slowly, pondering the capabilities. "We'll need to keep a close eye on Bella from now on." This posed a problem, which I quickly solved. "She'll be safe with me," I vowed solemnly.

The wolves stared at me and broke into guffaws. "Over his dead body," they chuckled.

I frowned at their facetiousness. This was serious: a mad revenge-seeking vampire was after the woman I loved. I would keep her safe — I swore this on my own life.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

_It's funny,_ I never noticed, _your gait tells people how you're feeling._ If the loud but uncertain, harried, and barely perceptible taps of my shoes weren't a complete give-away, my face surely was.

"Jacob Black, he checked in about noon," Said Sam Uley in an authoritative tenor.

"Third floor, emergency theater." We hurried towards the closing elevator. "You can't go in there right, the doctor will inform you when the operation is over," the matron called behind us.

We shoved my way in the elevator amid mutters. But, when it took forever to get to the second floor, I exchanged it for the stairs. _Cardiologist, Pediatrician, Morgue, Emergency Theater_!

I shoved at the door, but it didn't give way. The attendant inside stuck his head out. "No one is allowed inside until the operation is over."

I peered at the room through the looking glass. I could only see Jacob Black's feet sticking out as a surgeon obscured him from view. The green, doctoral curtain masked the rest of the scene.

Bella was sitting in a chair nearby, her head in her hands. She was a pitiful sight. Her eyes were red from crying and her hands wrung themselves helplessly.

"Edward," She moaned.

I held her close to my chest, kissing the top of her head intermittently. "He'll be alright. He'll be alright." An empty baseless, unhopeful promise.

Almost immediately, the light at the door blinked and had Bella's attention at once. "Dr. Cullen," she said anxiously.

"Carlisle, always Carlisle. You make me sound four hundred." He winked at her. "Jacob Black, as I'm sure you're anxious to know, is on his way to recovery. He had a bit of blood loss, but he's fine. He might be staying for a few days, but he'll definitely be home by the end of this week. A few fractures but nothing I can't handle or can't be reset."

"Oh, thank you so much…Carlisle." She collapsed back into the chair.

"No problem at all. Now if you let us clean up, you can meet him right away." I steered her to a seat by the door. The rest of the clan hovered awkwardly beyond the door.

"Bella?" I looked up to see Carlisle motion for Bella to come in; I waited outside; I could still everything said inside perfectly clearly.

"Jake?"

"Bella?"

"Are you okay? What happened?" She took his hand in hers.

"I…don't know, honey. I was out checking out a few places in the woods and next thing I know, something hits me in the back. Then when I come round, I'm being strapped to a gurney and rushed to the ER." He looked around. "Is the bloodsucker here?" She frowned at him.

"Jake, don't call him that. Besides, don't you know who' been taking care of you?"

"I have no idea, Bella, I was out the whole time, remember?" He pointed out sulkily.

She pointed to Carlisle who was across the room tiding up equipment. Carlisle frowned, not unkindly. "Bella is like a daughter to me. I would like to see her happy. I'd do whatever was necessary to keep her happy; surely you wouldn't do less for her."

Jacob blushed. "Gee, thanks lee—Doctor, C." Then at Bella, "Dr. _Cullen_ says I'll be home by Thursday."

"Don't tire yourself out, hon. I can manage myself; I did for half a year before you walked into my life."

His eyes grew hard. "You better not use this as an excuse to sleep with Edward."

"Jake!" She flushed.

"I'm warning you, Isabella. That little horny teenager-wannabe stays in a ten-mile radius of your bed at all times!" I rolled my eyes. Jacob Black, annoying as he was, was creative with his epithets.

"Don't give yourself a hernia, Jake. You're being hard on Carlisle as is." She turned away from him, cross. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bells, remember, if he's tries to get with you, you can use Charlie's gun on him. It's in the den."

"Like a bullet would even injure him! It probably wouldn't even leave a dent! So good-bye Jake!" She said with finality tone and burst outside.

I moved inside.

"What is he doing here?" Jacob demanded of Sam furiously.

"Shut up," I snarled.

He glowered at me. "You'd better not try anything, leech. Unless you want to lose her, I've got her on my good side now."

"If you wanted to be on her side at all, you'd better stop before I bury you the way I buried your other wolfish friends." I hissed in his face; a bluff, but one that proved effective.

His hands quivered.

"Jake," He looked at Sam and his features relaxed.

"So, the female, she…"

"I already know. I'm here to discuss tracking patterns."

"You…what?"

"_You_ want be rid of her, _I_ want to be rid of her. The job will be done quicker and more efficiently if we close in on her together."

Jacob stared furiously into my eyes and then nodded. "Alright," He said, his voicing cracking as he sat up. "We figured she's stationed somewhere off the res and maybe ten or so miles off the river." He took a breath. "Next time we catch sight of her, we give you all a ring."

"How do you propose to do that?" I asked coolly. "Phase and pause while you dig out your cell phone and give me a ring at my home?" He didn't smile. "I think it would be most effective if that you keep one of your clan members, preferably one the novices temporarily in permanent wolf form and communicate locations that way. And then, he can give me a ring.'" The others looked at each other.

"That's…a _good _idea," Said Sam slowly.

"Don't be so surprised," I said shortly, and a little taken aback with their presumption of my stupidity. "And there's one other thing, Jacob." He looked at me. "I'm going to be keeping Bella with me."

"No!" He leapt out of the gurney and faced me on one leg. "No way in hell!" He shouted. The other four wrestled him back between the sheets. "Absolutely not!"

I sneered. "I would think, as her husband and one of her best friends, you would have her safety at heart and in mind, Black." He stared at me. "What with all of you running around after Victoria, she's going to be left under the care of some neophyte. So what happens if the female skirts all of you and gets to Bella? The novice is hardly going to be of help and neither am I if miles away."

All of them were staring at Jacob.

He glared at me.

"She's a very trustworthy woman, Black. It's one of her traits that I fell in love with. And she hasn't changed. She won't leave you simply because I have returned; she owes you so much: her life, and her sanity. And so do I. I wouldn't do that. I may be jealous and covet what I never should have had. And I won't take it from you unless you do something to hurt her."

Sam nodded. "Alright, then. I think you'd better be going. Tensions are high enough as is."

I nodded. To Jacob, "I'll let you tell her."

I stepped out and gently pushed Bella inside. Her face went from distressed to deep wondering. Then joy and she threw her arms around him. Jealousy threatened to overwhelm me. I clenched my teeth, trying to get a grip on myself. And then I watched as she leaned down and kissed him. Her entire face was lit up in pure joy.

That I could _not t_ake.

I stormed out of the hallway and down into the outside lobby, livid with myself. If only I hadn't left... perhaps, then it would have been I who she would have been kissing. I who she would be worrying over – the again, I wouldn't have been hospitalized for such a petty injury, or hospitalized at all.

I steadied myself by leaning against a wall. I pinched the bridge of my nose and leaned against the wall with my other hand. As I opened my eyes, I noticed a slight hand print in the chrome, matching my fist.

"Damn." I rubbed the metal, trying to fade the print, like hand prints in wet concrete.

"Edward?" Her clover-sweet voice floated into my ears. I froze in my tracks. She slowly walked around so that she was stationed in front of me, her eyes dancing, her arms akimbo. "Where are you going? I thought…I thought…I was going to stay with you?" Her lovely brown eyes reflected my monstrously ungrateful face in them.

"I…didn't bring my car." I said blankly.

"Oh. Should we get a ride from Sam or something?"

I snorted at the idea. "I had something a little more pleasing in mind." I took her hand; the warmth was heavenly. I could see that she was nervous. "I wonder how your memory serves.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" She asked hesitantly.

I smiled and grabbing her arms, wrapping them around my neck, flitting into the adjacent forest. The shock was evident on her face. She let go of my neck, hanging on by a prayer.

"_This_."

Her heart stuttered. Her eyes darted back and forth to the building behind us. "Edward, people might have seen us!"

"People are inconsequential, except for you."

She sighed. That wasn't what she wanted to hear, but not what she didn't wish to hear either.

Without warning, I leaned forward so that she was forced to link her arms around my neck to keep from rolling right out of my grasp.

"Alright," She relented. "so what will we be doing?"

"I will be catching up on the years of your life that I missed."

"It's not very interesting, I'll detail it for you, if you wish. But I have to warn you, it's extremely unsatisfactory."

"The only unsatisfactory thing about you is your husband," I muttered sourly.

She made an impatient noise, but continued, "I waited for you. Jake found me. Saved me. Charlie pushed us into getting married. And then Gracie happened. All in less than four or five years." She seemed to want to dispel the memories so she quickly asked, "What were your years like?"

"I could never love again, Bella. So much as I loved you. You took my heart though I wouldn't have needed it. All my life was gone. The sun refused to shine. The few times, I could feel content were when I dreamt, blindly, of waking beside you, smiling at you. Iagine my horror and disgust when all my dreams ended with your limp form, cold to touch, drained of life, blood; dead. Then I could always say for sure that I had done the right thing."

She shuddered.

I slowed down. We were deeply inside of the forest now.

"Close your eyes, love," I murmured. She pressed her face against the nape of my neck. I didn't dare shift; for fear that she would remove it. And off we went. Running along at a healthy pace, I let her hair hang in the air. She breathed deeply, and kept her eyes scrunched tightly shut.

"If Grace were a boy, would have named her after me?"

She started. "How did you know?"

"She told me. Would you really?"

"Of course," she whispered. "The only reason I named her Rosalie Grace was because her name constantly reminded me of you. Of what might have been. It kept the resentment at bay because it reminded me of what happened: of Jake, too. Even Grace, the name rings of you in every syllable and connotation."

"It was the one thing you didn't have," I teased. "I'd never seen a human as uncoordinated as you turned out to be."

"Hey, I'm a better dancer now."

"And so, the young swan learned to fly," I chortled.

All too soon, we were there. "Bella, we're here," I said softly. She opened her eyes. She smiled; it was a sardonic expressing; appraising and bemused.

"I never thought I'd see this place again."

I smiled. "Neither did I. Alice tricked me into coming here." She looked up at me blankly. "But I'm glad I came."

"Me, too." She whispered softly. I took her hand and led her inside. Carlisle and Esme were conversing in the dining room.

"Hello, Bella," Said Carlisle.

Esme embraced her. "So good to see you again, dear."

_Edward, I believe there is something you need to explain to us?_

"Yes, but later, please," I said, for his and Esme's ears.

He nodded and resumed his conversation with Esme.

I took Bella upstairs. She paused outside my room, and I gently nudged her inside. Once, inside, she sighed. "It looks the same." She looked at me. "I was afraid it would be different. But, it feels that nothing changed." She began to peruse my things as I collapsed on to the couch and watched her carefully.

"Edward?" I looked at what she was holding in her hand.

"Romeo and Juliet." I nodded. She smiled.

"I thought you didn't like Romeo."

"I don't; he's much too fickle. Do you want to watch it?" She nodded. I popped the disc into the slot and we settled back on to my couch, my arm fastened securely around her.

"Will you cry?" I asked her, whispering in her ear.

"I cry every time, don't you remember?"

"Of course," I murmured. "Carry on."

But the movie passed fairly quickly. I laughed off the begging, noting Romeo's impulsive lust. But when Juliet completed her monologue and ended up in her tomb, still alive, Bella was in tears. I began to whisper Romeo's lines to her as he kissed his love good-bye. "'For never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo,'" I recited for her.

By the time the credits rolled, she was weeping. I hugged her to my chest, attempting to comfort her. After all, it was only a story. But even after the TV had been turned off. She was sobbing, much harder, I knew something was wrong. Her tear-filled eyes locked on mine.

I should have given her some kind of relief, but instead my every cell was experiencing pain. Complete and utter agony. I took Bella's hand gently into mine. Every ounce of me wanted to pummel something—anything. _Was it I who caused her pain?_

But whenever I pulled away, Bella grasped at me and another onslaught of tears erupted. With no other choice, I wrapped my arms around her, needing to comfort the hurt away as her sobs began again. I held her tightly, hoping my presence was helping. But as she muttered his name over and over, what was left of my heart shattered into tiny pieces. I considered more than once leaving her to be with him.

If only I hadn't promised that I would never leave her again. Plainly, she was so much better off without me.

I remained silent while Bella mourned. However, I had no idea how to make it better. She nestled her body against mine and I responded by holding her as close as I dared. Her tears continued to flow until she finally drifted off into an uneasy slumber. Her muttering didn't stop, however and with each mention of his name, I wondered what I was doing back in her life.

When all the layers were peeled away, her condition was my fault. No one regretted more than I. She would never blame me, but she didn't have to. I blamed myself. If I had not left, she would not have needed Jacob. A man who, even though he was a werewolf, was better for her than I was.

If I bowed out and allowed Bella to remain with Jacob, she could keep her soul, something I wanted desperately. The pain she was enduring because she'd chosen me was unbearable to watch. I would give her up, if she desired it. It would be even more difficult now than the first time, but I would do it.

_Come hell or high water, I would._

My eyes drifted closed as I prayed that it wouldn't come to that. I pressed my lips to her forehead, inhaling the intoxication of her scent and pulled her even closer, molding her body into mine. My every cell ached for her. I loved Bella more my dismal, wretched existence. I would do anything for her—to make her happy. I kissed her head again. A tear rolled down her cheek and she sighed.

And to my surprise, she mumbled, "Edward, I'm sorry. But I can't…"

I waited for her to continue but she didn't, lapsing into silence. And I wished, for the umpteenth time, that I could peruse her thoughts.

* * *

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	9. Chapter 8 :: Visions

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, which will win?

**To all my readers and followers... guess what? I finished this story!**

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**Listen to **_**Acid Rain (piano version)**_** by **_**The Agiles**_** while reading this. Enjoy.**

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* * *

**Chapter 9: Grotesque**

_EPOV_:

When midnight struck, rays of moonlight peeked in through the window and Bella began to stir. I continued to hold her, waiting for her to push me away. Her eyes fluttered open and they were finally tearless.

She mumbled a hello, but I said nothing. I carefully watched her, anticipating another outburst and prepared what I could say to comfort her. She told me that she was fine and that it wouldn't happen again.

I narrowed my eyes in disbelief.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that," she apologized, not meeting my eyes. I shook my head incredulously. Once again she was being utterly selfless. "That wasn't fair to you."

_To me?_ _None of this is fair to anyone. _I placed my hands on each side of her face. A thousand thoughts were running through my mind. "Bella…I've never seen you in so much pain—," My voice cracked as I realized that I played not a cameo, but a starring role in her agony.

She nodded, placing her delicate finger on my lips. "Yes," she insisted. "Regardless, I want you back in my life."

"I'm not so sure…if it hurts you so much, how can it possibly be the right thing for you?" My throat tightened around the words, refusing to let them through although I managed them somehow. _Please don't agree with me._

"Edward, I know who I can't live without." She smiled weakly.

"But…" I protested.

She shook her head. "You don't understand. You may be brave enough or strong enough to live without me, if that's what's best. But I could never be that self-sacrificing. I need you. It's the _only _way I can live. And Jake, I need him, too," she admitted.

I wasn't sure I believed her or not. The memory of her devastation last night would forever be etched in my mind. Watching her battle with her emotions had given me a glimpse into how she'd been after I left. For the first and last time, ever, I allowed myself to think of the memories Jacob Black had supplied. The ones of Bella the night I'd left to the day she showed up at his house. She was still the beautiful woman I had known sitting before me, but just a shell of what she truly was.

"Juliet, right now, is wondering whether she should turn her back on Paris, who is her best friend and lover, and has sustained her through the years. Or return to Romeo, whom she loves and needs but left her out of his better judgment."

"Romeo wants his Juliet. He would die for her," I said, aware of my avarice.

"But for her to leave Paris would be unforgivable."

I pushed her. "So she _had_ to decide."

"_But_ she decided that she could not live with either."

"And die without one? If he despised the competition and retracted his love," I pressed.

"Neither had the heart."

"Which can you live without?" I asked quietly.

"Edward!" Her voice was sharp.

I nodded, her refusal a painfully plain answer. "I promise you, I won't ever leave your side."

"Promise?"

"How could I? I cannot live without my heart, and you have mine, to treasure or destroy as you wish it."

She smiled faintly and as I crooned softly in her ear, fell asleep once again.

_Edward._ Alice was in the doorway. _I think you should go hunting before she wakes. If you don't get back before then, I'll stay with her. That way, you'll be prepared._

"Bella," I whispered to her, my face in her hair, smelling her delectable scent. "I'll be back soon." She smiled in her sleep and her grip on my arm though tightened. I slowly pulled myself out of her arms, ran out the door, headed to the forest, and went hunting.

I needed to feed because I'd put it off long enough. Any longer would be hazardous to Bella's safety, something I didn't like take chances with, though my past would claim otherwise. I took off running. Speeding through the trees was always exhilarating; I could dodge the trees with ease, leap over roots and leaves, and the whole time, not feel as though my lungs were about to burst with overexertion.

I grinned to myself.

She had admitted it, though marred by ties to that _mongrel_ that she and I were irrevocably extricated, never able to exist without the other. As long as I had a tie, some way...any way to keep her, I was willing to be the alternate.

I was in the woods now, attempting to give myself a little more time alone before I returned home, to my family's questioning.

It was cloudy and rainy today. Like the world was on the verge of tears.

I sighed as I got up, preparing myself to hunt, closing my eyes, savoring the last feelings of absolute control I had. Then slowly, they eased into the recesses of my black mind. My instincts came forward, in turn urging my body on. My eyes snapped open and I darted out among the trees, my senses alert and sharp.

I headed uphill through the forest, sensing my target moving serenely in front of me. A wolf, sauntering through his land: a predator, like I was. But I was in a completely different league than a mere wolf. It wasn't a man-wolf, _thank god_. I couldn't afford a run-in with one of them at this point.

It could sense me coming, aware of a vampire approaching as every creature is—even humans were unconsciously wary, though they didn't know why. Animals were still in touch enough with their primal senses to know why they were afraid of us. Humans shied away out of an inconceivable intuition that was slow enough to be fatal.

Overtaking it, I was drinking thirstily from the creature before it could cry out. The monster inside of me growled, roared, as the filling blood poured down my throat, momentarily quenching the thirst, although it wouldn't be for long. It would take four wolves to fill me, and there weren't many in this forest.

I destroyed the body of the desiccated wolf, giving myself a quick glance to make sure the blood hadn't gotten on me, a habit, as I hadn't spilled the blood of my victims since the first few times of hunting. Every drop spilled was wasted when not consumed.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

A shadowy sun lit my path as I followed the cobblestoned walkway to the door. I stopped abruptly as I saw a shadow in the window, and quickly rushed inside the house and up to my room, silent and ready to attack any intruder.

The sight I was met with was certainly not what I expected.

There was music. Her lullaby was playing softly in the main room from the stereo we had left behind since my dark years. I couldn't breathe as I saw the shadow take a more defined shape in the sunlight peeking through the large windows.

She swayed as though she were transfixed. Her steps were delicate as she moved and brushed her hair away from her face. Her bare feet did not make a sound. I moved forward slightly, leaning against the doorway. She was completely unaware of my presence. She brought her arms up above her head in the most graceful gesture I had ever seen. As she spun slowly, allowing the sunlight to make her pale skin glow.

She was more beautiful than any vampire.

She gathered the skirt into her fingers as she moved, careful not to step on the train; it was one of Rose's, the train was too long for her. Her perfect face was filled with the most serene expression, her eyes were closed, her guard was completely down.

For a moment, I thought I felt my heart start beating again but it was the melody's soft beats reverberating through the room and into my soul.

She was an angel. She must be.

She opened her eyes and saw me silhouetted in the doorway, and froze in mid-step. I moved reluctantly forward as she turned away, looking suddenly embarrassed, moving to stop the music, but I took up her hand.

"May I have this dance?"

Her vibrant eyes glistened happily as she smiled like the sun and stepped back to curtsy. I smiled back as I swept into a deep bow, reverting to the more formal courtesies of my time, and then took her into my arms.

There wasn't a more perfect moment than this; dancing with my beloved Bella, her lullaby slowing to its final chord. Our movements slowed with the beat until we were simply holding each other closely, savoring this moment.

I closed my eyes and allowed my lips to touch her forehead.

"You did learn to dance," I murmured.

"Edward?" I opened my eyes again, meeting her gaze; it smoldered.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Please don't ever go."

"I won't ever leave."

"You'll stay with me even as I grow old?"

"I'll stay."

"Every minute?"

"Each second, until your last or until you tire of me, love. Whichever comes first."

"I think I would like that," she said slowly. "But, what will you do, when I die?"

"Follow you as quickly as I can."

"I didn't know your kind could die."

"It's difficult but possible."

"So, when I die…you'll go and kill yourself, too?"

"That sounds about right, yes."

"That…is perverse." she wrinkled her nose with distaste, her eyes betrayed her inner emotions: selfishness happiness though I was hardly one to judge.

I grimaced and then took her hands in mine again. "Perverse is my only option, right now."

She gazed lovingly at my apparel. "You look lovely."

I looked at myself. "Oh, this? Alice said you liked me in black."

"And blue, yes."

"How coincidental, the colors I wish to beat into Jacob Black."

"Edward," she reproved.

I chuckled bleakly.

And she, grudgingly, smiled.

Plans of us together were already formulating in my mind as I hummed her lullaby and we swayed slowly in our private ballad, beginning our short bout of eternity together.

_Edward!_

"Alice, I am kind of busy right now, I-," I started, annoyed, but she cut me off.

"Edward Cullen, I don't want to know what is going on in that room, but we are all sitting over her waiting for you to get down here, so let's go!" Alice called from downstairs.

I looked at Bella and could tell that she overhead what that Alice had said. The familiar blush slowly began to fill her cheeks.

"Well, I suppose we have an audience," I said.

We both glanced up as there was a sudden thud on my door. It was Emmett, he was grinning ear to ear with his eye against a crack in the door, trying to see what was going on inside. Bella smiled at him, a touch of asperation in her expression; I suppose we needed to have a good humor about this otherwise they were going to pull us down too quickly. I kept my arm around her waist and led her downstairs. She smiled at Emmett as we exited and I turned my nose up at his immature thoughts.

Esme had already readied breakfast for Bella. And I watched her eat it, enjoying my fetish - how her little human tendencies worked. When she finished, she looked expectantly at me.

_Edward._ _Carlisle needs all of us to have a meeting. Right now._ I began to lead Bella to the living room._ Without Bella, Edward._

"Why?" I asked.

_Victoria._ _We don't want Bella to pick up on her situation, remember?_ I kissed Bella on the forehead, trying to reassure her. She noticed something was amiss, but she knew not what the situation was.

Rosalie broke the silence, "Get a room!" She scoffed, pretending to be offended. In truth, she was overjoyed that I finally wasn't moping anymore.

"Gladly," I responded and started towards the stairs, Bella laughed nervously.

"Get back here," Carlisle ordered, a little irritated at my immaturity.

I grinned.

_We have to discuss this,_ he snapped in my head.

I nodded and carried Bella back into my bedroom and placed her down lightly on my couch. I regretted now not having a bed; maybe Alice would help pick one out for Bella and I. I grabbed a blanket and draped it over Bella, her eyes were heavy again and she looked so peaceful. I lay down behind her and pulled her close. She sighed and melted into my arms.

"Bella. Wait for me, alright. Can you do that? This won't take long." She nodded, smiling sweetly.

Alice peeked into the room. "Bella, I was over at your house and I brought all your clothes; they're in basket over there."

"All of my clothes?" Bella gasped.

"There wasn't too many – hardly any, actually. You really need to go shopping," Alice rolled her.

Bella gaped at small pile of clothes on the floor and start to sift through them, throwing the covers of herself. "Not too many...you brought everything?" She trailed off, sifting more quickly – looking for something intently. "Weird."

Leaving her to her reverie, I tiptoed from the room.

"Edward?" I doubled back. "Are you okay?" Bella's voice shook me from my thoughts. Her slightly frantic tone immediately came rushing into my ears, making me unclench my hands. Telling her, would only worry Bella, or make her ask questions that would only hurt her in the end.

"I'm sorry, love," I whispered, "I'm a little distracted."

Bella's breath hitched at the nickname. "Warn me before you say that," She whispered, suddenly breathless. "It's hard enough when you say my name in that tone. A nickname is ten times worse on my heart."

"I am sorry." _For everything._

I frowned as I walked back downstairs. It was so vexing how she was so trusting and naive. But that was something I loved about her. Her innocence. I would not allow Bella to die. Until her time came.

We sat there in silence for several minutes as Alice washed me in all of the visions she'd had of Victoria in the past few hours. Many showed her attacking Bella. In some, it was the two of us, fighting. And then, the last one.

Bella.

Dead.

In various bloody, grotesque pieces.

"That won't happen!" I snarled. Esme patted my hand. "We've disproved your visions before Alice. I'll do it again," I said, determined.

Silence.

"Have you had any more visions?" I asked.

"No, Edward, I'm sorry, I don't know what will happen next—!" Alice froze as a vision overtook her, her tiny body going rigid.

At the same time, Carlisle's phone rang. He snatched it and listened intently.

It was Sam.

_The wolves have traced Victoria's steps into town – she's disappeared – scent in Charlie's house – in La Push, as well – the hospital..._

She's tailing Bella, I realized.

_Jacob was recuperating at home and he swears there was an intruder although by the time he phased, he couldn't find anyone._

There was a click as Sam hung up.

In the silence, we could hear Bella muse upstairs, "She forgot my sweater," as we waited for Alice to emerge from her bout.

I tried to tune into her thoughts, but the images were flying through her mind so fast I could't make sense of them, but one overtook me.

_Victoria in a room, with Bella's neck squeezed between her long pale hands, choking her, her bloody mouth smirked in amusement._

Alice unfroze herself with a look of horror on her face that I half-perceived through the vision I saw in her head.

"_What are you waiting for?" Bella asked. "I knew this would happen eventually, Edward or no Edward."_

"_You were right, but this is too easy. I'm going to drag out it as James meant for you. I'm sure he'll enjoy as much as you will."_

The vision suddenly stopped and Alice looked at me, her face wrent with terror. "Edward," She said in a horrified whisper. "That was your room!"

My features, frozen in shock, slowly came unstuck and I frowned at Alice. "Absurd," I said. "We would smell her coming from miles. This is safest place for Bella - aside from La Push," I grudgingly admitted.

Jasper slowly turned to Alice, his eyes wide. Wordless communication passed between them; I couldn't even glean anything from his mind until he spoke to me. "_No_," he breathed. "Of course! We've been focused on the wrong thing. She knows wherever Bella is will be guarded heavily and a confrontation is out of the question - she's overpowered..."

"So," Carlisle said suddenly, catching on. "Her best chance lies in guile rather than the outright..."

"La Push!" Alice screeched. "Sam called because he said Jacob thought there was an intruder and when I brought Bella her things, _both of us_ pointed out how there were so few clothes - that's not her anti-commercialist tendencies - Victoria was snooping."

"If she was in La Push while most of the dogs are in the country looking for her, she easily could have tacked their scent and if she has Bella's things..." Emmett trailed off, looking to me.

"Because Bella and I are around the dogs so often, if she laid it on thick enough the combined scent of the wolves and Bella wouldn't tip us off..." I said slowly, reluctantly, dreading the words.

Seven pairs of eyes shot to the ceiling.

There was no heartbeat from upstairs.

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	10. Chapter 9 :: The Chase

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, who will win?

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**So, haha, funny thing. I was just looking over my fics. And I realized, that I completely the real Chap. 10. Instead, I skipped straight to Chap. 11, where…things happen. But by pure coincidence, (you can check now, by reading the last line of Chap. 9 and then the first line of Chap. 11, and you'll notice that it sounds completely plausible). But I skipped all the action. Rawr. Plus, I had no idea where that chapter went so I had to rewrite completely by my OCD was driving me nuts. **

There is still the epilogue, which I think provides a nice, significant ending to this story, tying up loose ends. If you want me to update sooner like say, every three days, you should do one thing: REVIEW. I've made it easier for you by providing the lovely button at the bottom of the page. If you want me to update sooner, I want at least 5-10 reviews. Not too much to ask, right?

Listen to **_(Jillian) I'd Give My Heart _****by _Within Temptation_ ****while reading this. Enjoy. **

xoxo,  
-ei

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Chapter 10: The Chase

_EPOV:_

In a heartbeat, we were upstairs, standing around the pile of clothes Alice had delivered mere minutes ago.

"She knew." Alice breathed.

"What?" Emmett glanced at her, confused.

"Didn't we hear her; she was wondering about the clothes – she realized something was off. Why are we always _blind_?" She scowled. "We are _gifted_ and despite that, we are always missing something."

"Love makes us blind," Carlisle soothed her but she turned her angry eyes on him.

"Don't give me that crap, Carlisle." Jasper pacified her.

"She can't be far," Rose said, glancing around the room. The window was ajar. "We can catch up."

"She might already be…" Emmett began to say, but after glancing at me, he broke off and looked at the window.

"She's not." I said, my voice shaky. "Victoria, wants me to find her – to see her die before my eyes, helpless to do anything. Revenge for James – she's taken her somewhere, waiting for me to show."

"We need to split up," Jasper said. "Esme and Carlisle, take the town. Emmett and Rose, take north. Alice and I will take the wolf trails. Edward you go toward the border of La Push." He gave orders quickly, methodically.

We departed in a blink, the seven of us scattering in various directions. I followed the edge of the forest toward La Push. I hovered at the borderline, but no wolves confronted me. She wouldn't have risked entering La Push again, so I shot away, past our house, beyond to the roadway.

I found myself on a familiar road, my breath catching as my mind registered slowly what my body instinctively had realized. I had always been able to save her. Even in Arizona, we'd been a mere one step behind. But now…never since first leaving here had I felt so helpless, so untethered, vulnerable even. And yet, unconsciously, I had registered what I had consciously refused to admit.

I burst into the light and tumbled into a circle of grass, waist-high. The trees on the perimeter were in bloom, the meadow smoking with the scent of wildflowers.

I sank into the grass. I was in mourning. Savoring the memories I had before I knew. Before I found her, cold and still. This time, I was too late. Nothing could save her now. Not even…

"Where are you?" I whispered to the firmaments. "You didn't save me; please, save her!" I clenched my hair in frustration when I received no answer. But what I expected, an ascertaining lightning bolt? "Sacrifice me if you must. Sell my soul for hers." I pleaded. "I was good. I didn't kill anyone who didn't deserve – I don't kill. I deserve this at least."

Carlisle believed in God. In a higher power. He believed we were all destined for something greater, infinitely better if such a place without Bella could exist – which, it couldn't. He saw something beautiful for all of us; something that couldn't possibly be true…

She was beyond my reach. Nothing, nothing, no thing except…

I prayed.

For a miracle, for a chance, for one breath, for just a -.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

"Alice?"

She spoke in spurts. "Edward – we've got her – the baseball field – the clearing – Jasper realized – we're coming – go!"

I remained there for an instant, staring into the sky, my lips parted in awe. "I'll never lampoon Romeo again," I promised fervently.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

When I neared the clearing, I was having doubts again. Perhaps, she had fled in alarm? I couldn't sense anything in the clearing.

But as I entered, I saw a flash of red across it. And then, Bella's hit me so hard, I stumbled.

Open blood.

She was lying on the grass, motionless, her eyes closed, her chest still. One of her legs lay at an unnatural angle to the rest of her body; broken, I realized, clenching my teeth in anger. Bone was poking out below her knees cap, blood dribbling down her leg into the grass.

Victoria eyed me with a triumphant smile.

"You didn't think you would see me again, did you?" She taunted, her sweet child's voice wrought with anger, scorn, and victory. "But Bella did. She knew I would be back. If Laurent hadn't killed her, she knew surely that I would."

"Don't kill her," I pleaded. "Take me instead."

She merely laughed. "Now, that wouldn't be fair, Edward. After all, you killed James." She hiccupped slightly at the name of her former lover.

"There's no reason," I said quietly. "My family will be here in a moment; they'll kill you." I managed to keep my voice even. "I'll give you one chance. Run and never look back."

She scoffed. "You think me a coward, perhaps? You think I didn't love James."

Then I realized as I read her mind, so consumed by passion and fury, and intense, crippling sadness. The same emotion I had been obsessed by when I left, each time Bella was ripped from me. She wasn't afraid of death. She would welcome it. After all, what was life with her James. What was life without Bella?

I took a step forward and she snarled. "Keep your distance," She warned me. "Or else." She, too, stepped forward and raised her foot above Bella.

"No!" I cried out.

"Don't move," she warned me coldly. "Or it will be worse."

She stamped her foot on Bella's wrist.

Her eyes flew open and her back arched up, legs trembling. She screamed as the fragile bones in her arm cracked up her forearm and as her jolted leg sent shocks of pain through her body. She cried and whimpered, not daring to move.

"Bella," I called quietly.

She turned slowly to me, not moving her lower body.

"Edward," she whispered.

"Well, now that she's awake, things will be much more interesting," Victoria smiled beatifically.

I didn't dare move. If I did, she would snap Bella's neck or slash her throat, killing her instantly. Yet, as I continued to stand her, she would mutilate her until my family arrived and we could overpower her.

I watched in horror as she methodically broke each of her fingers and toes. Bella's scream echoed through the clearing.  
Helpless.

"Take me!"I shouted.

Victoria paused and looked up, intrigued.

"Take me," I repeated, sobbing. "I won't fight. Kill me. Leave her alone. She wasn't the one who killed him."

"No," she agreed. "That _is_ an interesting offer. And yet…" She sighed dramatically. "It won't do at all. It wouldn't be _fair_," she said playfully. She walked back to Bella and eyed her critically. "Besides, I'm quite bored, aren't you? I think I should end this. Right now." She raised her foot above Bella. "Say goodbye," she crooned.

"Bella." I sank to my knees.

"Edward," her lips barely moved.

Victoria smiled.

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	11. Chapter 10 :: Say It Again

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What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, which will win?

**I'm sorry, you hate me, I know. How could I do a cliffy? I couldn't resist, lol. And it was really short, I'm sorry. But to make up for that, here's a longer chapter and a plot twist that will make your mind spin. I really think you guys will hate at the end of ****this =\ But you know what to do: REVIEW =) And the chapters will be up faster than you can count them. ****At the end, you'll see where this is going, but hopefully, you'll stick around for the end.**

**Listen to ****_Baawri Piya Ki_****while reading this. ****This is a Hindi song, too, but seriously, listen to it! It's sad though. It's from the movie ********_Baabul_**. **Enjoy.**

**xoxo,**

**-ei**

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**Chapter 11: Say It Again**

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_EPOV: _

Deep in the forest behind, there were sounds of movements, fast approaching. Victoria froze, hesitating, eyes narrowing as she gauged it.

As she waited, I took advantage and pounded forward. By the time, she'd assessed my movement, I was on top of her, wrestling her to the ground. She slipped out between my arms and danced out of my reach. If I followed her, she might catch Bella again, but as long as I waited, Bella was dying.

The sounds were louder now.

She ran left feinted and went right. She weaved back and forth, slowly nearing Bella. The sounds were louder, I could distinguish each of my family's treads now. As they broke into the clearing, she wheeled and made for Bella. Faster than a bullet, I caught her unprotected neck as she made contact with Bella.

She went rigid under my teeth. Then her head bounced into the forest and I threw her body away from us. My family chased her parts and then we were alone again.

I turned to Bella.

Her breathing was shallow. Her heart pounding ardently and then feebly. I took her into my arms, careful not to disturb her broken leg and wrist.

"Bella," I whispered. "Sweetheart." I pressed a cold kiss to her forehead.

She looked at me, her eyes half-shut from pain. "Edward." She whimpered as she talked and her lungs had been bruised, and her diaphragm injured.

"Bella, I'm so sorry."

"Shhh…" She said. "Right now – I just want you to kiss me."

_Edward_, Carlisle sounded grim; _she's not going to last very long. One of her lungs is punctured One of her ribs cracked and ripped it open._

She was going to die, I realized. Doctors couldn't help her. Surgery would kill her. I took a deep breath, her intoxicating scent filling me, burning me. I leaned down and place my lips on her neck.

"What are you doing?" She asked, sounding panicked.

"Bella, you're _dying_. I'm going to bite you." I bared my teeth.

"Edward, stop." I froze.

"Bella, you're dying. This isn't just me sucking out venom – no one can save you, unless I…"

"You can't bite me." She said, firmly.

"Bella -."

"Edward, no. I can't do that to Jake." Jacob Black, it was always about him. "I love you, but I love him, too. And I married _him_. I can't leave him and run off with you. And he couldn't with me as one of you. And my daughter, I wouldn't be able to see for so long."

"We can make it work, Bella," I said, looking into her eyes with as much solemnity as I could; if there was ever a time to dazzle her, it had to be now.

"No, Edward. I can't keep hurting both of you. This has to end."

"Bella -."

"Are you going to come after me?" She asked.

I held my breath as I eyed her; she was serious. Immovable. "Yes," I sighed. "Of course. I love you. I never stopped loving you."

"I love you. I just wish you hadn't left. Now, please…kiss me before I -." She stopped, fluid was bubbling up in her throat. She couldn't breathe. Carefully, though the shaking of her body told me of her pain, I leaned her over so the blood from her lungs could drain out.

"Kiss me," she said hoarsely. Tears were in her eyes.

I pressed my lips to hers, tasting the blood on her lips, trying to memorize exactly how she tasted, smelled, felt in my arms. The hazy smell of her.

I pulled back and looked at her. Her breathing was labored, her heart weak. Her lungs were filling up with blood.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

I felt her pulse; it was weak; a fading palpitation.

She was dying.

She writhed for a moment, her beautiful face twisted in agony. And then she smoothed it out. Her eyelids fluttered open, her deep brown eyes like the many fawns I had dined upon; she would be next.

There was only one choice, the alternative…to let her die. I wouldn't allow that. _I was owed my piece of eternity and I would get it!_

I lowered my lips to the base of her neck and began to nip at the side of her throat.

"No." It was the softest whisper, the faintest sign of a sigh from her failing lung, but the word was unmistakable.

I hadn't accounted for a rebuke of this nature.

"Why?" I demanded. "Bella, I can't live without _you_; . And to let you die would be…inconceivable." Hell on earth, not that I would be on earth much longer if this kept up.

Her eyes clouded for a moment, but she blinked rapidly, refocusing on my face.

"You asked me yesterday," She said, her words disjointed and slow, "Who I couldn't live without."

"I know you love him, Bella, but he would rather have you undead than gone forever. We could make it work – if he phased often enough, he could achieve a semblance of immortality..." I was rambling.

"You," she said with gravity.

"He – what? I..."

"I can't live without you, Edward!" She said forcefully, as if the words gave her vitality. "Yes, I love Jacob, but I loved him because I needed him to fix me. I was broken he fixed me. I loved him for what he could do. I love you, even now, because you make me feel like I was never broken."

"So spend eternity with _me_," I said, my insides swelling with bliss.

"If I did, he would know. And as much as my love for you and my love for him aren't comparable, I couldn't break him. He loves me the way I love you. When you said you didn't want me, you made me irreparable. You said it was hard for you to let the words come out your mouth, how difficult would it be for me? He's the moon, I'm the earth, you're the sun."

"I think you have it a little backwards," I said weakly.

"I love you."

"I love _you_."

I cast about for _some_thing, _any_thing, to let her know my feelings were eternal and would not be stopped or truncated by death. French, Italian, Latin, Chinese, if she desired.

"Tell Jake that…I love him."

My voice quavered, "I will."

"I don't want either of you to fight about it. He understood my love for you. And you understand why I married him. He's never to know," she said sternly. "Nor is Grace, or-."

I pressed my lips to hers, cutting her off mid-sentence. They were ice-cold. But they moved against mine fervently, urgently. Passionately.

At that moment, I realized why Helen of Troy had a war fought over her. Forget ancient Greece, the woman in my arms had moved two worlds of monsters to combat.

"And…promise me." She whispered. "Promise me again." I knew exactly what she meant. I wanted her to hear it before she left.

"I'll never leave you."

She fell back, consumed by her need.

"Hum for me, Edward. M-my lullaby."

I managed to control my voice enough to modulate it so it followed her instructions, the result a horrifying lilting sounds like a dirge.

"I'm going to be okay now," She said softly, managing to smile.

Her eyes focused.

Unfocused.

And then closed.

I remember sitting with her in my arms as she lay dying. I remember her voice, cracking and no louder than a whisper, calling out to me to remember— to never forget my beloved who was leaving me, but even then, it was deafened by the sound of my heart breaking, and the overwhelming silence of the tacit woods.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

It was as if my life was flashing right before my eyes. No…that was incorrect. It was as if Bella's life was flashing before me. Everything I imagined her doing: getting married, aging, seeing her grandchildren, being happy…everything just withered away.

It was over.

I leaned back and gazed at the sky.

Was it a trick? A prank on the part of kismet? Maybe Bella really was alive…maybe I could…I could…she would just– I hissed at myself.

Bella was…_gone_.

Even thinking, the words stung my throat.

The Earth seemed different in a way. Like everything was shifted out of balance. _How could God let someone so pure and loving leave the earth?_ Bella's life shouldn't have been over yet. _How was it that I, a demon born over a hundred years ago, was still here, while her life was taken before it could really begin?_

I could not give her a proper ending. I could not bear to sit and sing while she died. I did not hum that chord.

Instead, she died in my arms.

I wished I could have wept, to visibly show my grief, but this race of mine did not allow me to express my emotions on my sleeve. If there were ever an instance where I wished it were not so, it would have been then.

It was such a secret place, the land of tears.

It started to rain there, with thunder that roared frightfully. The tempest was free to do what I yearned: scream and pound my head against the ground, refuse and shun the truth. The rain pelted my face, weeping the tears I could not cry.

But it stopped, the storm, and I could not understand why, when she had died, _why hadn't the whole deceased along with her?_

A rainbow, shining through the clouds, like a peek at the eternal azure.

And then, I knew.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

Her funeral, as beautiful as death could be, was a wake for two. She dead in the ground. I motionless upon the Earth. She rotting away in the soil and I rotting away in the air.

I had picked myself up and walked back into the realm of the living, pretending to be enchanted with life, lying with brilliant smiles none of which none were as comely as the ones I bestowed upon her. But then, what did? Nothing compared to what I did for her. No one compared to her. l would forever be infatuated with the purlieu of the dead. I saw it all in perfect clarity now, too late.

But if this was sight, I would rather be blind.

We had to wait, to show our pain, until all of Bella's petty friends left. Many were the ones we'd encountered in our brief years where we were truly together: Mike and Jessica Newton, Lauren and Tyler Crowley, and Angela and Ben Cheney, among others, all of them political appearances.

But, Angela was the only one to whom I didn't show any disdain. She wept bitterly as though she'd lost a sister. She advanced toward Grace and embraced her. They sobbed for awhile on each others' necks until her husband pulled her away.

A similar scene ensued with Renee and Bella's step-father. Charlie looked on, donned in a suit, staring dazedly toward the sight; he had been brought in from the retirement home in Olympia. I wondered if he could even comprehend what was happening, that his daughter was no longer here. Most likely not, or he would have raised a riot at seeing my family here.

I was thankful to Renee, Charlie, and Phil, if not for them, the eternity I had spent in Forks would have turned out like any of our residences at Rochester, Lord Lake, Denali, my existence unchanged, my purpose unfound.

The only one who matched me in grief was Jacob Black. When the news had been broken to him, he had collapsed to the ground and even now sat on the ground, his blank eyes not seeing. Agile, young body, wasting away.

Sam and Jared had phased in the woods, miles away and were howling their grief and empathy – even of the wolves; they were the few that could truly comprehend what it was like to lose your soulmate. My family and the other nonhumans understood it more than anyone else did.

Sometimes, I couldn't bear it, the feeling of hanging in a perpetual nightmare, hoping someone would pinch me into a reality where reason existed. Other times, I wondered if the real agony was yet to come.

The worst was the knowledge that eventually Bella would disappear from the minds of the surroundings. _It will be as if I never existed._

"A beloved daughter, friend, a wife, and a mother…"

_An unwavering lover._

I did not break down. I had to be strong, just this one time. Selfless for once.

For her.

For Jacob Black who stared blankly at the mound of earth, but did not see.

For Grace who sobbed, creating a river where she stood.

For Alice and the others.

I could not be selfish with my grief.

Jasper stood far away from me, from everyone. The utter pain and misery that was going through us all...but it didn't appear that distance would protect him.

Alice, Esme, hell, even Rosalie's eyes were dark, even if they had just hunted the night before to be able to be here with the humans. The bruise-like color under their eyes stood out, and no signs of life could be seen from their faces.

_I would never criticize Romeo again; he understood. Being so close to death, because of absence from the one I loved._

Alice stepped out from behind me where she had stood, holding her breath for fear of exploding into paroxysm of lunacy, and wrapped her stoney, cold arms around me, trying to comfort me. I felt I looked up with what was left of my unclear vision, and saw my sister.

"It's going to be okay," She tried to soothe me, her voice breaking. She and Bella had been very close. "A dirge for the doubly dead," She murmured.

I froze, wondering if she had caught on to me.

"She died so young." Alice kissed my cheek.

I pulled away. Without waiting, I loped away from her. She had not perceived my plot. And all for the better so I could go without a struggle.

Esme would make a scene.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

I carried Grace into the house. She was now gently sleeping. I diagnosed that she had caught a fever because of the draft, in her grief, neglecting to bring warmer clothing.

We could support each other. Grace who had sobbed into my shoulder and I who hung to her for utter support. Somehow she understood my infinite pain; a daughter's pain, a lover's pain, somehow they were similar. We comforted each other beautifully. Fortunately for me, my pain would be short lived. However, I was slowly losing my sight and my mind. The earth was not destined to be my home for very much longer.

I wondered though how I was able to keep my thoughts so in control and natural. After all, when I'd first left, my mind had been devastated for years. Gradually with help from Jasper and my family I'd been able to sink in a tolerable state of indifference to the world.

I laid her on the couch, wondering where her father was.

The only reason I was completely normal and not yet senile was because I'd knew that I'd be seeing Bella very soon. And it was all the better that my family had already departed so that I would not have to put up with their protests of not to leave.

I sighed and left my missive in Grace's hand. It was a weak act of contrition for all the atrocities I'd committed in my brief venture into her life.

My apology for not being able to save her mother.

My regrets for inserting myself into her family's life once again.

I could do no better; I was after all a hellish creature.

And I apologized for that as well.

_I suppose I'll be seeing you soon_, Bella had said.

_Yes_, I laughed bitterly to myself, _she would_.

_"Say it again…" She had almost snapped._

_I'd whispered it, wanting my words to truly take every doubt away. "Bella…I will never, ever leave you again…ever. I love you. I love you."_

There was shouting in the distance, shouting that morphing into howling and canine exclamations. I hurried outside.

The pack was assembled a few hundred meters away from the house, at the edge of the woods. But, I could see even in the gloom of the woods, one of the wolves was running, blue-streaking across the forest to ends even I could not see.

The pack was in psychological tumult.

_Sam, call him back!_

_Yeah, what the hell are you waiting for?_

_I can't._

Stunned silence.

_He didn't…did he?_

_He declared his own pack._

_Son of a gun, that's why we can't hear him._

_Where is he going, did he say?_

_Does it matter? He said he wasn't coming back._

I pulled myself out of the packs and pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers; if only Bella had foreseen the consequences of her death. She might have picked differently. Undeadness rather than the Beyond.

But even if the pack was cut off from Jacob, I was still close enough that I could hear his psyche, degenerating into the primal instincts of a true wolf. _The silence in my head was better than the silence around me. The silence I heard, louder than her voice had been, deafening the memories so that I couldn't think straight. I wouldn't be the first one to choose this form over the other. Maybe, if I ran far enough away, I would never have to hear again… _As if he were aware of my perusal of his mind, he pushed his limbs faster, letting Jacob Black disappear behind into the dust he kicked up.

She had changed me so irrevocably and so many others, as well.

I could hear Grace stirring within in the house. In a few minutes, if my sense were accurate, Bella would be changing another irreversibly.

Running my hands though my hair, I turned away from the sight, finding Alice front of me.

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**Sorry, did I say "hate?" I meant "Love." xD Review.**


	12. Chapter 11 :: Nothing To Admire

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, which will win?

**So, here we are. Again. I'm sorry, you're going to hate me by the end of this =\ But you know what to so: REVIEW =) And the chapters will be up faster than you can count them. ****At the end, you'll see where this is going, but hopefully, you'll stick around for the end. I also put up my new one-shot: _Beaitiful_. So, don't forget to read that; it's about Jasper and Alice 3**  


**Okay, I'm done with Indian songs, for a while, at least, even though I though they were great! Listen to ****_No Surprises _by _Radiohead _****while reading this. ****Enjoy.**

**xoxo,**

**ei**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Nothing to Admire**

******EPOV:**

I froze.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at me. Somewhere in the air, I could hear a sound like glass breaking and I was fairly certain that it was Alice's heart as she tried to keep up a brave front. Our footsteps crunched on the dry leaves of the Forks forest. We were quiet for the whole journey into the house and were now near the house where our family was waiting, no doubt. I thought of my family, each of their face. How much harder it would be if I had to convince all of them, fighting the doubts as their love for me bloomed on their beatific features.

_This is a good place to tell her._

"Let's talk," I said, stopping.

I leaned against a tree keeping my face an unreadable mask from my century of practice and the one time of experience, although this was going to be more difficult; I didn't know whether I would be able to will myself to go on. Alice and I were very close. I could have juxtaposed this to my soliloquy with Bella, so similar were the pains.

Then suddenly, six figures flitted out of the trees.

"Okay — let's talk," Alice said, as everyone locked eyes with me.

I almost gave up then.

_Was I really willing to leave them? No, but I needed Bella_. I took a deep breath — _this wasn't going to be easy. This was going to be difficult:_ Esme _might yell or even start hitting me_…I smiled slightly at the latter option.

"Oh, good god, he's going crazy," Rose muttered.

I snapped back to reality. "I'm leaving." I was going to put myself through hell again and this time for her, but I was prepared for this, I could and would do anything to keep my family safe.

"Why now? Another year perhaps…give us time," Carlisle said, sounding almost agreeable.

"No!" I said rather harshly.

"When you say I—…" Esme whispered, becoming stern.

"I mean myself." I said slowly, and clearly. "Whenever there is a meeting, a parting shall follow, Esme."

"When you say…leave…where exactly are you going?"

"Italy."

The words settled gloomily on our shoulders.

"I'll…" She seemed desperate to find some supplement to the situation. "…come with you."

_I knew this was going to happen._

I groaned: they didn't understand. "No. Where I'm going…It's not safe for you all," I explained in vain. "Dammit! This is why I wanted a clean, abrupt break, Alice!"

"Well," Alice said, sneering. Her eyes were wicked. "A 'clean, abrupt, break didn't work out so well, last time, did it now?" She taunted, making air quotes with her fingers. The amount of cold fury she pack into the phrase, surprised me.

The words seem to sting inside my skin as if I were going through the transformation again; I flinched, but held steadfastly. I would only put them in danger by bringing them with me to Volterra.

"My future world is not for you!" I muttered darkly wishing that they could be part of my world forever.

My mouth twisted in angst and I gnashed my teeth together; _I had to do what I had to do!_ I set my eyes to the hardest color and turned to my mother.

"I don't want you to come with me," I nearly spat the words out because they tasted horrible in my mouth. I wanted nothing more than to keep my wonderful family, all of whom were kind and supportive in whatever I did, with me forever.

The look on Esme's face burned into my mind and the pain the seared through my heart was more painful than when I transformed all those horrible years ago. I saw nothing but pure affection in those eyes of hers.

"Edward." Her head hung heavily on her neck and, for the first time, she looked ancient. "I'm not Bella – a mother always knows when her sons are lying."

"I love you, but you have each other; who do I have?"

"You have us!" She persisted.

"You would die for Carlisle – how could you ask for any less of me for my love?" I asked her solemnly. Her face fell – she couldn't argue against her irrefutable love nor mine. I felt abashed. "Esme, I have to do this. I need her. And you all…I can't put you in danger for such a petty want."

"Edward, it's not petty. Not at all. Very noble, in fact. Why can't you ever see what a sweet, caring person you are?"

"I'm not the sweet, caring person you think I am."

"Edward." Carlisle's voice was fatherly, pained, and almost…admonishing. "Never forget what you've done. You have attempted, with every fiber of your being, no doubt, to lead an existence as pure and as wholehearted as you could manage. And when you reach the gleaming fields of paradise, do not be surprised."

I nodded stiffly and he clapped me on the back.

_Fat chance of that happening_.

Esme tearfully embraced me but didn't utter any other words of protest.

Jasper came and he shook my hand, gazing in my eyes deeply. _Good luck, Edward. It was a pleasure knowing you._ I was surprised to hear admiration in his psyche.

"It's nothing to admire, Jasper," I murmured. He shrugged, never again taking his eyes off of Alice and not saying another word.

Emmett grinned at me, but there was a certain stony and hard quality to his usually buoyant eyes. He mussed my hair in a brotherly, affectionate way and embraced me saying gruffly, "Always the martyr, Edward."

His wife stepped forward and, for a moment, I was sure Rose would say something insensitive, to my idiocy into perspective. But she kept up her laconic facade, only clasping me tight in her arms so that her cries were deaf to all but my ears. She held me very tightly, and then finally kissed my cheeks and relinquished her hold.

_Good-bye, Edward_.

As for Alice, I didn't bother saying anything to dissuade her. She had always had an obstinate outlook on anything that had to do with her family. She was already in the Volvo and as we drove away, I could see my family huddled together, taking comfort from their spouses, and finding solace in that at least I would be eternally happy; Jasper soaking up the sympathy like sunlight.

"And so ends the tale of two star-crossed lovers, Bella and Edward, the human girl and vampire boy…" Alice mumbled. "Do you remember what it was like when you first left? Day in and day out, silent. Never moving. Scent gone, in fact, from the house, and that worried us."

"But I hadn't cared. I couldn't care. Not when she's wasn't mine anymore. Remembering that look of pride on Charlie's face from your vision. Guess he was happy that she had gone with someone else instead of me. And I couldn't honestly blame him either. I couldn't see who it was though. I thought you managed to hide that somehow. Now I know why. I thought it might have even been Mike Newton, though I had seriously doubted that Bella would sink so low."

"I thought you were going to die, absolutely silly because vampires can't die from the pain of the heart. Especially not when they don't even have one."

"Why, Rosalie even tried to convince me to go."

"We were frightened by your…brutally catatonic attitude towards life. Neither of us had ever been skilled when it came to lying with our thoughts. And she was desperate. She hates to see you desolate. She's very sensitive; you know, introverted and can't voice it."

"But all I'd been looking for was that was that one loophole, that one spot in the contract that would let me return. I couldn't wait. She was part of every single one of my memories. The ones that were special anyway; memories too precious to ever forget and too personal for others to possibly comprehend at the deepest level what we went through. So supernal – full of might-have-been's and could-be's – if only I hadn't left."

"Edward." Her tone was reproving. "Don't pull empath-emo boy on me. I get enough of that from Jasper." Her voice was brittle, hard but with an inelastic fragility.

"I held them forever."

"The memories that will forever be inside all of us until the day of reckoning, haunting. After…" She couldn't bring herself to say the words, "Immortal in my mind, immortal in my heart, you will live on."

We were at the airport now. "You needn't come that far," I said, wishing she would accompany me to death's door.

"If I didn't, Esme and Rose would torch me when I returned." She said stoically, then turning to the attendant, "Two tickets to Italy, please. One return."

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

"Well…we're…here." Alice's voice shook.

"We are." I pursed my lips. "Alright, now as soon as I get in, I want you to go dash to the airport as fast as this contraband will take you," I told her, patting the side of the yellow Porsche. "And for god's sake, next time, steal something less ostentatious."

She grinned lightly. "Well, you never did buy me that Porsche," She eminded me teasingly.

"When you get back, help yourself to my bank account…give my Ashton Martin to Rose, she's coveted it forever. It'll do her good."

She nodded. "Well, I suppose this is good-bye."

"For now, yes."

"For now."

There was an awkward silence before, Alice threw her arms around me. "Edward, I'm going to miss you so much."

I wrapped my arms around her torso. "I know Alice. I'm…going miss all of you as well."

"Ha! No you won't. You'll be too busy with Bella."

"If I even see Bella again."

"What is _up with you_ and your depressing one-liners?"

I kissed the top of her head. "Good-bye, Alice."

"…bye…" Her farewell was choked.

I had to do it rapidly, like ripping away a bandage, off our hearts.

I removed her arms and without delay, I sprinted past the fountain and into the shade of an alley. Then, I couldn't resist: I paused and turned around. Alice stood frozen for a full minute. I cursed under my breath and as I was about to come back out and tell her off, she drove off, navigating with head in her hands.

Sighing, I retreated farther into the shadows.

Without going far, I happened upon a great pair of doors. I slipped through them. Almost immediately, I could hear someone approach, whistling gaily. A tall, dark-haired brute of man crossed my path.

He stopped and stared. "Who are you?"

"Edward Cullen."

"Cullen…Cullen…isn't that Carlisle's family?"

"Yes."

"Good, good."

"I wish to see Aro."

"Why?"

"…I…" I didn't really know how to phrase my wish.

"Felix!" The man turned and was face-to-face with a girl of about thirteen years. "I have a bone to pick you, you little thief!" Her thoughts seethed.

"Oh, Jane…" He laughed nervously.

She glared at him and for a moment he stared back, his jaw slack. Then next, he was on the floor, screaming, writhing, and wrenching his body in byzantine, appalling ways. This abysmal event went on and the girl, a mere child she was, looked at me and smiled. It was an evil thing. A wild leer of utter malevolence.

He, Felix, stopped writhing, but still whimpered.

"That'll teach you to steal my dinner!" She snapped and then turned back to me. I drew back and she sneered. "Who are you?"

"Edward Cullen."

"Carlisle's coven?"

"Yes."

"Ha! Vegetarians," She scoffed.

I bridled.

She didn't notice.

"Well, what do you want?"

"I wish to see Aro."

"Come then. You, too, Felix. Make yourself useful!" He picked himself up off the floor and followed us through a series of doors and into a lobby.

"Felix, Jane." A human woman sat a receptionist's desk and nodded to my company.

"Gianna." Felix winked at her.

She flushed and giggled.

"When is Heidi coming?" Jane asked impatiently.

"Sometime this afternoon. Any hour now."

Jane suddenly disappeared. I followed her down a dark vertical tunnel, landed ungracefully on my knees. Jane was already going through the next pair of doors.

She threw them open and called out in Italian. "Aro! _Mi hanno portato qualcuno che vuole incontrarmi con voi._"

I followed her inside. An old man with black hair and a papery white face greeted her happily, leaning forward to kiss her full lips. "To whom do I owe this pleasure, Jane?" She turned to me and slipped her hand into Aro's. "Ah! Edward, Edward." He smiled at me. "How is Carlisle?"

"Doing very well."

"Send him my regards."

"I'm afraid I won't be able to do that."

His smile faded. "Pray tell, why not?"

"I've come for a favor." He nodded encouragingly when I didn't continue. "I wish to be killed." A stunned silence met my request. Aro motioned me forward and took my hand for a moment. While he touched me, I scanned his mind.

The first scenes were irrelevant, my human years, forwarded to Carlisle changing me; the pain was my strongest memory.

My rebellion.

Returning, finding the members of my family…then Bella. We both started in shock at the memory of the scent. I, out of the feeling if déjà vu; he out of shock at its potency.

Alaska. My decision to return. Our doomed love. Embraces, kisses, private moment that I hid from the world, flashed before this stranger's eyes.

My rescue of her from James. And then the departure.

The long, desolate years.

Found love.

Death.

"Ah, I see." To the others, he reported. "The woman he loves is dead, alongside her killer, and he wishes to no longer stay on this earth without her. Am I right?"

"Y-yes…" I was staggered. "Some of that was private, Aro."

He shrugged conciliatorily. "Not expecting that, were you? Carlisle doesn't often speak of us, I suppose and with good reason." He smiled amiably. "I can read your mind Edward, too. I know of every single thought has ever passes through your noble head. But with one drawback." He sighed heavily. "I need to touch you." He laughed, the sound offly bitter. "Ah, I'm jealous. The thought of distance makes me grit my teeth. You are blessed."

"…my request?"

He paused and looked at the man on his left and the other, standing at the window. "Marcus?" Another dark-haired man who was notably ancient.

"He is very special one, very special indeed. But he bears no vengeance at all. He is a lamb. Of no use to us." He turned away in distaste. Somehow, I could tell I had one vote.

"Caius?"

"Aro, he does bear the one forthcoming that you do not. He could prove useful."

"Exactly what I felt."

Marcus snorted.

"A creature of his…self-control…gift…potential…to kill him would be…"

"…wasteful, I agree." Aro nodded. "But you have much potential, Edward. Would like to join our league?"

I tried to mask my disgust. "…no. Thank you."

"Alright then."

I recognized a dismissal, but persevered. "My wish…?"

"Has been denied. My apologies, Edward." I nodded curtly. "Before you go, take a cloak and enjoy the festivities: today is St. Marcus's day." He shared a laugh with the other two men. Others joined in. Felix came forward and handed me a cloak. I thanked them and another man, Demetri, led me out.

_But the boy…man is a loose cannon. I doubt that our words alone can stop him._

_I suppose the girl, fool enough to fall for him, had been perfect for him after all_.

Once in the fresh air, I contemplated my dilemma.

"Problem?"

I spun around.

"Alice!"

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**Review.**


	13. Chapter 12 :: Carlisle Was Right

What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, which will win?

**To all my readers, followers, and reviewers (I love _you_ the most)...guess what? I finished this story!This is it. Sorta. This is actually the next to last chapter. So have fun and don't forget to reviews, darlings~ Also, some of you plot-sticklers and trivia-maniacs may be wondering so I just wanted to clear up some air, fyi:**

**-**** Jacob **_**did**_** imprint on Bella – that's why they got together/married.**

**- yes, Rosalie Grace (man, that's a mouthful) was about to turn into a werewolf as Edward was leaving because the Cullens came back**

**Listen to _Lost Cause_ by _Beck_ as you read this, my loves. R& R.**

**xoxo,**

**-ei**

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**Chapter 13: Carlisle Was Right**

_EPOV:_

She grinned. "_Hullo_!"

"Alice! What the hell are you doing here?"

"Edward, I'm clairvoyant, what did you expect?"

"You're incorrigible."

She launched into the problem with a disturbingly cavalier manner "Alright, well you seem to be considering a lot of options."

"What _do_ I seem to be considering?"

"Throwing a Buick at a wall. Going on killing spree."

"No! Can't you see anything else?" I was only getting flickers of her mind, it was so chaotic, because my future self was changing plans so quickly.

She chewed on her lip, toying with me. "They denied you, didn't they?"

"Yes."

"I'll bet Caius was colorful."

"Hardly. Today is St. Marcus's day; they were in a good mood."

"Were they? Wait! Today-?" She froze and then grinned at me. "They'll act fast then won't they? Won't be happy if you disturb the celebrations."

"No…" I agreed.

"Edward! I've got it-!"

"-Alice!" As the sun continually swooped toward the twelve position, a ray of light slid over where Alice had been standing before she had dodged it. "Be careful!" I hissed. And suddenly, it hit me. I glanced back at her and she was smiling widely. "I need the biggest audience and the grandest effect," I told her seriously.

"Wait until noon, then."

"How long is that?" She peeked out to the clock tower and back.

"Three minutes."

"Perfect."

"You are so melodramatic," She rolled her eyes.

"It's fitting – Bella loved to see me sparkle."

Once again there was this awkward silence as she prepared to leave. We exchanged kisses and relapsed into the awkward reticence. This time, she didn't cry.

"I'll…see you on the other side, Edward."

"I'm looking forward to it, Alice."

After she'd disappeared from view, I ducked back out to check the clock. One minute. I began to strip off the cloak and my shirt underneath. The sun shone both menacingly and invitingly above. I closed my eyes and thought of everyone.

_Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, _and, of course_, Bella._

In these brief moments, I once again pondered about what I was about to do. I was going perish if I took one step forward. And leave behind a family that supported me for multiple decades and through my hardest times.

_Was it worth it? To die for Bella? _

_Yes._

The simple thought of Bella reminded me of my goal. It was worth my dying. After all, the day of reckoning would eventually arrive and then we would exist together, wonderfully. What a beautiful fate I had. As for now, I had no other alternative.

The clock struck twelve.

I took a step forward.

Then another.

And another.

Finally. I was moving, bare-chested out into the open.

The sun gaily swooped down to rebound off my granite, diamond-imbibed skin.

I began to glitter.

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

People were screaming. They were terrified off my obvious inhumanness. I took more steps, placing myself directly underneath the sun. More screaming commenced. I stretched my arms out and allowed them to radiate with light. The square was in chaos. People screamed, running haphazardly.

_Any moment now._ I kept my eyes closed.

_Alice. _

_Jasper. _

_Rose._

_Emmett._

_Carlisle._

_Esme._

_Bella…_

_Alice._

_Jasper-!_

Something hit me straight in the chest with the might of a battering ram. Violently enough to knock me backward and back into the alley: Felix. He stood up, dusting himself off having knocked me back into two other vampires. Demetri and a woman whom I didn't recognize.

"Edward, I realize that you may not be the brightest crayon in the box but, by god, do you have a death wish?" Demetri snapped.

"In case you forgot…he does, remember?" Felix snapped back.

"Shut up, the both of you," The woman snapped.

"Oh clam it, Heidi. I'm not taking any crap today. I already got pulverized by that punk, Jane!" Felix snarled. "I don't have any patience for this suicidal loser!"

They grabbed me roughly by the arms and we entered a hall. A grand one, set for a gala or the like. Aro, Caius, and Marcus were sitting at the other end, wiping their mouths. Other subservient vampires were expunging the halls of its many corpses.

Hell loomed invitingly ahead.

As we neared the royal threesome, Felix, Heidi, and Demetri flung me to my knees. I made no move to rise.

_Rose._

_Emmett._

_Carlisle._

_Esme._

_Bella…_

_Alice._

"We are displeased," Began Caius, coldly.

"Edward, Edward, Edward," chided Aro, playfully. "If you were so intent of dying, you had only to ask us and we would have given in to your demand. No need to frighten the humans so."

I smiled sardonically.

He returned the expression. "You might have made a wonderful addition to our little family, had you joined."

"Perhaps."

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Edward."

"Likewise."

I saw that my apathetic, almost cheerful demeanor pained him. He sighed a sadly affected sigh, "Take him away and be done with it. He brings hell and trouble round about him."

Felix and Demetri took me to a secluded balcony behind Volterra's castle.

"This won't even be fun; he won't fight back," Felix whined.

For a moment we all stared at each other.

Then I said, "I just want to make this clear. My family is to be left alone."

"No problem…Deadward." Felix smiled wickedly at me. "Clever, huh?" he asked Demetri, giggling madly.

"As clever as Jane is kindly." Demetri snapped.

Felix frowned, confused. "Jane isn't nice…"

No, dolt, I'm calling you _fesso_."

"Felix, there is no reason to hurt them…" I said, trying to catch him attention again.

"Ah but there is, isn't there, Edward?" Felix was smiling. "Besides, you are in no position to bargain with us. This must end now."

"I did wrong. I broke our laws and I must be punished for that. But know this: If there is a hell, I will come back from it to make you pay for what you've done to the people I love."

Felix snorted. "Good one, Ed. I haven't heard that one before."

"Felix!" Demetri momentarily touched his shoulder and he turned to me. "As long as they have not done anything to expose our kind, Aro would see no reason to kill them. He is reasonable. With that in mind, I can assure that they will be safe."

I nodded, at last, at peace.

Felix rolled his eyes. "Finally; now let's get this over with."

In slow motion, I saw Felix crouch and spring. Out of instinct I would have tried to protect myself. But now, I simply relaxed and concentrated on forgetting about my physical awarenesses. I could distinctly see as Felix's fangs connected with my skin and he tore open my chest.

But from that moment on, I was as if I was detached from my body. The pain was a distant echo and I could the two vampires as they tore me to pieces.

In these last moments, the pain overtook me – a purely physical pain that was almost intense as the happiness that it represented. The utter bliss overpowered all vestiges of the wretched pain. It was all but completely gone. I could, detachedly, feel my body in all its separate offal.

And I could sense, from my severed parts, Felix looming over me, lighting a small flame. The world dissolved in a furious explosion of flames, a salvo of colors, and an opus of sound, disappearing in a void…

- Ъєαиτιƒи∫ ƒατє -

Screaming.

Someone was screaming.

A sharp pain stabbed my chest, and then I realized…I didn't have a chest anymore.

Fire.

Burning.

It was me screaming.

_I'm in hell_. This thought did not surprise me. I had expected it. _But then why had the angel stayed? _The angel. Through the fog, I could see the angels' face

How beautiful things were when it was the two of us. Nothing else mattered. We could die together and never feel remorse.

And when she finally died. I would, like all human memories, fade with her. With my death, the bond that we had, our rendezvous was wiped off the face of the earth.

I could honestly say that I remembered her entirely. My vampire memories were as lucid as the day they had been wrought; they had not grayed with age as human memories did. I could remember what she said, her voice, her hair, her motions, and the many times her porcelain cheek had become damask. That warmth that drew me to her and kept me in.

But it was like a dream.

She would tell me that I never seemed real. I would ponder this, but now I could understand. I , too, wondered how anything so immaculate couldn't be an illusion.

"Death that hath sucked the honey of thy breath hath had no power upon thy beauty," I whispered.

She was beautiful.

Ethereal.

Utterly magnificent.

Radiant in every way.

I had no idea why she had chosen me, but I was eternally grateful. My existence felt complete as I held her in my arms. She was the one thing in my world that brought me reason, the one thing that I needed to live, I noted.

She closed the distance between us with a kiss. A simple gesture that was instituted when words and expressions became superfluous.

And most of all…immortal and mine forever. With nothing that would ever stand between us.

Carlisle was right.

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**Review.**


	14. Epilogue :: Charlie

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_What if Bella hadn't jumped off the cliff? If Rose never made the fatal call. Edward does return but only to check on Bella. What he finds sends him in comatose. When he wakes, he finds that the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU BxJ, BxE, who will win?  
**  
So I'm guessing you all read about my missing-a-chapter-fiasco, but I fixed it, yay. So as a treat to all my royal reads, I updated early. I will now be resuming my fics, all of them, no worries. REVIEW. I've made it easier for you by providing the lovely button at the bottom of the page. If you want me to update sooner, I want at least 5-10 reviews. Not too much to ask, right?**_

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Listen to _I've Gotta Get a Message to You_ while reading this. Enjoy.

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_xoxo,  
-ei_

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_

_Epilogue: Charlie_

_EPOV:_

I was surprised I had made it here.

_I had not wept when I witnessed Edward's life taken before my very eyes. Nor when I returned home to the arms of my lover where Esme had organized a wake._

_It was as though all feeling had been wiped from my body. If it weren't for the fact that Jasper's suffering was almost worse than mine, I would thought he was protecting me._

_When the casket was lowered into the ground, I could not escape a feeling that it was partly my funeral occurring, that a dead part of all of us was being buried in that empty grave and perhaps that was why our cheeks were dry with the bitter flush of regret._

After all, Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett had been completely against this idea. They were positive that it would give us all away. But Esme, for one was on my side. And Rose, she argued passionately for Edward's death affected her even more strongly than the rest of us, though who could really say?

_It was as though Edward and I, the part of us that signified our close friendship was lost forever, hidden from prying eyes in an empty little stone crypt underneath the ground. Being as close to him as I was, I had lost of a piece of myself to him, and he, to me._

_Because we had no body to bury, all of Edward's things were tossed into the burial vault. As if we could have loved in that house with all of the things that still smelled of him. And Esme, Rose, and I wept on each other's necks as our men dug the grave and lowered the casket, steely-jawed._

The car screeched to a stop and I got out. Rose had painstakingly done my make-up and I was surprised. I looked thirty-three rather than eighteen. Make-up could be perverted to make you look old rather than young sometimes, if you were talented enough. I knocked politely though I knew he was there.

_Except the piano, all of his things had been decamped. I had caressed the piano, recalling all the memories where he would play for us and for Bella. Mostly of us because thinking of Bella was painful, too. Losing my best friend had been the first blow. Edward's departure, the second, almost too much. The mate love, Jasper, was insurmountable, but the bond I had with Edward was a close second._

The door opened and we stared at each other in surprise.

_They left me winded and with a stitch in my side, in the race of my life._

"Charlie!" I smiled grimly. I couldn't believe he was even upright let alone sentient.

"…Alice?" He asked, almost disbelieving. I nodded.

He, dumbfounded, let me inside. "Alice, I don't know if you haven't heard but Bella…"

"I already know Charlie. I'm very sorry. I didn't manage the funeral."

He didn't know what to say.

_Hurry up, Mari Alice. His time's running out. Don't forget what you came here for._

"So, honey, how've you been?" He tried and failed to appear cheerful.

How horrible to have your child die before you, altering the natural rhythm of life, though arguably, it had been Edward who had disturbed it, like throwing a stone into a pond that had disturbed a monster, an eternal, blood-feeding, desperate monster.

"Not very well, I'm afraid." I paused and looked at him. "Charlie, I've come to talk to you…about Edward."

His face came back to life. "He's not here is he?" He demanded angrily.

"No, no," I assured him.

"Lousy son of a -!"

"Don't make assumptions!" I said sharply.

"I hope he's happy at least," He muttered.

"He left Bella for a reason, you know."

"Really" he said scathingly. "What was that?"

"He never could wrap his head around the idea that he might have been good enough for Bella. He didn't want to ruin her future. Bella being so infatuated with him was unhealthy and dangerous. So he separated himself, thinking it the most love he could give in return."

"I don't…he - what?"

I cracked a slight smile. "I know his thinking is a tad bizarre."

"A _tad_?" His indignation rendered him breathless and he sank into a chair, breathing heavily.

"He meant for the best, Charlie. After the accident – when Bella broke her leg? – he thought, if he continued to stay, Bella might get hurt again. So he left and made us come with him."

"He didn't do it gracefully. You didn't see her, Alice! She didn't act like someone had left her. She acted like someone had died. Like _she_ had died."

I sighed. "I know, but he meant for the best."

_Hurry up; his heart is slowing down now._

"Where is he now?" Charlie asked, grudgingly.

My breath caught as I spoke, "A-Actually, he was last here in Forks when he heard the news. Then he went to Italy."

"Hope he has fun." Charlie muttered murderously.

I took the old man's hand. "I want you to forgive him, Charlie. That's why I'm here."

Charlie's eyes flashed mutinously as he spat, "Let him come and be on bent knee. Perhaps, then…"

"Edward's dead."

"He…what? I…Dead?"

"When he heard, he wasn't hysterical – he was so quiet. Like he had died, like all his will for living had left him. He took the first flight he could and he killed himself."

Charlie took off his glasses and wiped his eyes. I wished I could weep, but it was such a secret place, this land of tears.

"God, Alice. It feels like time's running out for the whole world, doesn't it?" He said thickly. "He _killed_ himself? What is _wrong_ with him?" Charlie's tears were coming fast now. "That's not the way. Poor Jake. Doesn't know what to do; can't even think about his daughter now. And Edward! Goes and offs himself! I hope they're happy!" He added contemptuously. "Sometimes, I wish we were all safely dead and under gravestones," He said bitterly.

"I do, too."

He closed his eyes. "Of course, I forgive him. Of everything. I'm sorry, I said he was a…I'm sorry," He whispered.

"I'm sure he's thankful, up there, that you don't hate him."

"I…didn't know that he was a...good guy underneath. I'm sorry." Charlie closed his eyes.

"Thank you, Charlie."

"Thank _you_, Alice. If I hadn't known…" He fell asleep in my arms. I carried him to his bed and laid him to rest.

Charlie Swan died peacefully minutes later.

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**_~Voila_**

**_REVIEW._**


	15. AN

**Disclaimer**: **_All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended or accepted._**

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Hey readers,

WHOOO-EEE. I really laid the angst on thick in this one, huh? Well, I hope that you guys likec it (in spite of the angst everywhere). _Beautiful Fate _is finally revised and I hope managed to convey all the could-have-been emotional turbulence that the story created, lol. Tell me how beautiful (or ugly) you really thought it was. Was the epilogue overkill?

- eloquentlyinsane

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**Absence** - When Wanderer decides to leave, Ian finds out a little too late. Devastated and despairing, he lives his waking moments so that she will return. AU. One-shot. WxI. REVISED.

**Beautiful Fate ****–** What if Bella hadn't jumped? If Rose never made the fatal call? Edward returns to check on Bella, but what he finds sends him comatose. When he wakes, the tables have turned and decisions must once again be made. AU. JxB and ExB, who will triumph? REVISED.

******Beauty and the Dark **– The tale of how Alice and Jasper - Darksper - met, fell in love, and joined the Cullen coven. One-shot. AxJ. REVISED.

**Bella Gets a ß** **– **A B on Bella's report card leads to domestic troubles. Jacob makes a cameo. AU. One-shot. All canon pairings. REVISED.

**Blasphemy **- Even weeks after his clean break, Edward has not recovered. Desperate, the Cullen visit their friends in Denali who offer their own insights to Edward's decisions and, not surprisingly, differ. One-shot. ExB REVISED.

**Bliss **– "You move and give me the seat, woman." "Or what? You'll bite me?" EmxB

**Daddy **- Bella's wedding goes without hitch, but Renee brings out a new side of Charlie that causes some problems. Alcohol and anger collide, leaving Bella devastated and wondering if things can ever be right again. Years later, life meets death. AU. One-shot. ExB. REVISED.

**Excruciating **- "Jasper Hale is staring at you." Jessica hissed in her ear. (AU) JxB

**Good Thieves Gone Bad **- A little drabble about two thieves who shares a little with the duo in Thief Lord. Originally an English assignment in 7th. Not my best work. AU. OCs.

**Inamorata** - Little girls want their happy endings, too. One-shot. JxE (not Jasper). REVISED.

**Lovely **- The tale of Rosalie saved Emmett. How Emmett joined the Cullens. And how they fell in love. One-shot. RxEm. REVISED.

**Never Say Goodbye -** When you have an unhappy marriage, you seek happiness outside your home. What happens when outside reaches back in? AU. AH. Twilight has been KANKed. Canon pairings, eventually.

**Prosser and Co. - **This an alternate ending to 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' starting from the foursome run-in with the mice. The improbability drive comes in handy. Originally an English assignment in 9th. Not my best work. AU. One-shot.

**Sense and Sensuality **- After the reception, Bella and Edward return home to their family most of whom who are eager to give them some alone-time. Bella and Edward's wedding night. AU. One-shot. BxE. REVISED.

**The Next Three Days **- The death of her child drives Esme to suicide. At death's door, she is saved by a man who has before played a part in saving her. But in order to live, she must first die. One-shot. CxEs. REVISED.

**The Other Rider - **The tale of the red rider, the other son of Selena; mirror storyline avec missing pieces. MxN.

**The Wedding - **What if instead Edward was the best friend, Jacob the unwavering lover...vampire girl becomes wolf girl. One-shot. AU JxB, EmxR, AxJ, TxE and several more cannon pairings to the max. REVISED.

**Verboten – **"I love you. It's a miserable excuse for what we're doing, but it's true," I murmured. "We belong together," she whispered. "No, it's wrong. There isn't a more foolproof way of getting the Volturi here, but you're worth it." AU. CxB

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**Crucible -** What if Christianity was just a bunch of sanctimonious voices in the mind of man no different than any other. What if Jesus was just a man who heard voices and did what they said? And what if the voices weren't who he thought they were? One-shot.

**The Festival **- This Diwali is full of surprises that will light up her life. 1st place winner of the F Scott Fitzgerald Short Story Contest. One-Shot. REVISED.


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